2015: Of Sacred Oaths and Damned Crowns (Baekhyun/Lu Han)

[baektobaek]

Pairing: Baekhyun/Lu Han
From: ANONYMOUS until REVEALS

Title: Of Sacred Oaths and Damned Crowns
Rating: PG-13
Other Pairing(s)/Focus: side!Xiumin/Chen, side!Chanyeol/Kai
Length: 41,690 words
Summary: Baekhyun has haunted the alleys of Shadowcrest all his life in order to survive; little did he know, in order to save his friends, he'd find himself trading those alleys for the Palace's stables, and meeting, along royal stallions, Prince Lu Han. kingdom!AU
Warnings: character death, language
Notes: Thank you, M, for getting me through this, staying up with me to work on this, and being the best beta reader I could have ever asked for.

“Hey, watch out!” the woman before him exclaims urgently, but it’s too late for her to avoid the collision. The calculated steps and speed have been tested before: Baekhyun cannot afford any flaw in his plan. The woman had barely taken a step away from the stand of fruits, prepared to take a turn to her right, when he seemingly appeared out of nowhere. She almost loses her balance from the force of the contact, but Baekhyun grabs her arm and pulls her forward before it comes to that, making sure to take a step sideways, so he’s closer to the stack of apples. The slight commotion caused as the young woman yelps loudly attires a bit of attention from the armed guards patrolling down the street and another passer-by, but they thankfully don’t eye them a second time and no one notices as Baekhyun grabs one or two apples and in one swift move hides them inside his cloak. The streets are almost deserted, most people not out of the warm comfort of their homes so early in the morning; after all, most avoid going out so close after the end of the night curfew. The weather doesn’t help with the empty streets; the January morning wind is chilly: not many would be willing to wander around the city’s dark neighborhoods on a Sunday morning in winter season. Baekhyun momentarily thinks that he is lucky to have found that scarf he’s been wearing since a few weeks ago. Black in color, texture softer than he could have ever hoped for; it is elegant enough that he does not receive weird looks anymore. One of his most prized discoveries as of lately. He wishes Jongdae and the others were here so he could brag about that strange –albeit small– bit of luck. Everything had been going from bad to worse ever since the Incident, from things so trivial as the weather, to finding proper shelter at night and scavenging himself something edible in order not to starve. Shaking his head to push the thoughts away, he quickly lets go of the woman and takes a step back. Getting distracted while on a mission wouldn’t help his friends – and would probably get him captured, at best. “I’m really sorry,” he says in one breath, his cheeks flushed – more from the cold rather than embarrassment – “I should have watched where I was going.” The woman nods once, stiffly, but she lets it go and resumes walking as if nothing happened. If there’s one thing about Winterlake’s situation that comes handy to someone like Baekhyun, it’s that the people of the kingdom rarely react by making a fuss. They avoid public interactions with strangers as much as possible, not to mention that they would never turn to the guards with issues like these. Especially not in Shadowcrest, the poorest sector in the city, far away from the Palace’s influence. He doesn’t let his relief show on his face, still mildly worried that something could go wrong. It’s been a long time since he’s actually felt safe. With the Rebellion rising in popularity by the second, there had been tension all over the country, from the darkest corners of Eeriehill, the most isolated city in the kingdom of Winterlake, to the bright gardens of the Grand Palace; everyone knew that something grave was on the works – from both sides. The guards on patrol had increased notably in number, the Rebels had gotten uncharacteristically aggressive, and the rest of the residents were too afraid to get caught in the middle of some conflict, or just too busy trying to survive. It is a dark era for all of them. As Baekhyun carefully walks down the road, still vigilant as ever, he thinks that the city of Belland must have been truly beautiful once upon a time; even Shadowcrest, with all its now shady corners and damaged buildings. He lets his imagination run beyond the city of ruins before him. He pictures Shadowcrest, in an era long before this one, its buildings looking tall and imposing rather than ready to fall apart, people strolling down the main street admiring the stunning part of the city, with none of the dangers that lurk around in the present. Legend has it that the city of Belland, true to its name, was one of the most outstanding cities in the Lands of the Mist. Perhaps he could have imagined why, had he not been raised here, had he not witnessed its true, twisted and ugly nature, had he not lost everything numerous times in the cursed city of oppressed habitants. What’s left behind, what he faces right now, he thinks, are mere remnants of a city that might have been beautiful and breath-taking once, but now is left to rot and wither, as broken as its people, as corrupted as its leader. *** “You’re awfully late,” is the first comment Lu Han hears as the guards push the doors of the royal dining room open for him. He closes his eyes for the briefest second before moving forward to face his parents. His mother’s gaze is cold, just like her remark. “I’m sorry, Mother. I got held up,” he says, maintaining his usual calm. “Where is Father?” he asks as soon as his eyes meet the vacant seat at the top of the table. “The King said he has some business to attend with the council this morning. He expects you to attend the meeting when you’re done with your breakfast.” In other words, he should head to the meeting before the King decides to skin him alive, heir or not. “Aright then,” he says, giving his mother a stiff bow. “I should go. I was not particularly hungry anyway,” he lies easily, making sure to turn away before grimacing. His bodyguard, Tao, throws him a questioning look when exits the room, barely two minutes after entering. “Council meeting,” Lu Han says simply, wondering how Tao still manages to get surprised when this happens. It has become almost an every-day occurrence by now. Maybe he should eat breakfast in his own chamber from now on. What he really doesn’t understand, however, is why his presence is even required in those meetings. His opinion is never taken under account, nobody seems to pay attention to him, and his own father hardly ever notices he’s there. So what’s the point? Where’s the use to being the future King when no one even bothers to listen? “Let’s go, your Majesty.” Tao brings him back to reality, and Lu Han stops burning holes in the wall in favor of moving along with his bodyguard, who keeps throwing him worried glances every now and then. “You okay?” the younger finally asks, leaning near his ear so that none of the guards placed on the corridors have the chance to hear them. “I’m fine,” Lu Han tries to reassure the other, smiling half-heartedly, even though he knows he’s not anywhere close to being convincing. * “They’re trying to isolate us, I’m telling you. Ever since Winterston was divided into Winterlake and Wintermont they see us as the weakest of the Lands of the Mist!” Liwei, the oldest councilor – and probably also the most stubborn, speaks out. Lu Han rolls his eyes exaggeratedly to Tao on his right, who stifles a laugh. The meeting has been going on for what feels like an eternity, and Lu Han kind of pities his bodyguard, whose muscles must have gotten stiff after standing for so long. Then again, he is the well-trained one. “We have an alliance with them. They cannot break it unless they have someone to back them up; and neither Silvervale nor Glassport seem willing to create a war out of nothing,” Shen objects, the only voice of logic in the room, as usual. Lu Han tries his hardest to follow the conversation; he really does. But it is extremely hard when he doesn’t attend each council, therefore missing half the updates on the situation. Then again, it is always kind of the same conversation. One of the neighboring nations disagrees with the King, everyone is overanalyzing the prospect of war (when, in Lu Han’s humble opinion, there is no such risk), and the councilors constantly argue over the smallest of things. Lu Han sometimes wonders whether his father chose a Council full of half-wits on purpose or not. It just doesn’t seem like a very smart thing to do. Shouldn’t he seek the most intelligent and capable for his inner circle of advisors? “Westflower has always been an ungrateful kingdom. We’ve done everything to help them when they were in difficult situations in the past, and here they are now, threatening us they’ll stop exporting to Winterlake.” Lu Han should really keep quiet. Even if he disagrees, even if he somewhere knows his opinion is more on the right than Liwei’s, he really should refrain from talking. Alas, he has never been good at keeping to himself. “With all due respect, Councilor,” he starts, a useful expression he has picked up from Tao, “but last time I checked, we were the ones who refused to export any kind of products to them. Five winters ago, to be precise, when they were struggling with their rupture with Redfay, and therefore in great need of support from their allies.” That is the exact moment he realizes he fucked up. His father’s look is like ice (unfortunately, the kind of ice that covers the Lake’s waters in winter: ready to crack and leave you to your death), and all five councilors turn to look at him, probably surprised that he decided to speak out. He thinks even Tao turned to him in astonishment, but he’s too terrified to steal a glance his way. If there is one thing he has picked up on politics in this kingdom, it is that he should never state that they are in the wrong. Never. “Are you insinuating that my judgement was wrong, son?” his father asks, with barely retained anger noticeable in his voice. Can he really back out now? Can he sacrifice his dignity, or should he at least try to explain his point? “No, Father, I am not saying your judgement was mistaken. I am merely stating that we should recognize where they are coming from.” He is surprised that his voice remains stable. “I hate to say this, but we were the ones who strained our relationship with Westflower, therefore I am just suggesting we find a way to resolve this in a civilized way.” He knows this is not what a respectable argument sounds like; after all the lessons he has endured through the past years, he has at least learnt that an argument should include feasible and precise solutions, as well as an understandable reasoning depending on your audience. However, considering that for now all he wants is to tame his father’s anger, he hopes this will do. “I don’t think you realize, my son, how much helping them at that time would have ruined us financially. It is no secret that we are not the best-developed country out of the Lands of the Mist, therefore, we couldn’t support them when we could barely support ourselves.” The councilors nod in agreement, and Lu Han can’t help but be disgusted at how pretentious this so-called Council is. All the councilors want is to be in the King’s good graces. What they are doing is not counselling their King, but instead blindly following him wherever he wants to take them. “But-” he starts to protest, ready to defend his stance. The events the King described are nothing like he remembers reading them in all the history books. Supposedly, five years ago was Winterlake’s golden era! “Lu Han, I am deeply sorry, but I think you are ready to be dismissed for today.” His father’s condescending words sound loud and clear in the large room, and Lu Han thinks that this is a low blow, even for his father. He has never kicked him out of a meeting before, never humiliated him like this before. “Maybe, while you are at it, you could re-read one or two things about politics.” As he storms out of the room, Tao following close behind, he thinks he can hear some councilors snickering. *** Ever since the Incident occurred a few weeks ago, Baekhyun hasn’t been able to find someplace safe to sleep in for more than one night. Guards are all over Shadowcrest looking for outlaws, and the people in hiding have already formed alliances. He can’t protect himself, just like a lone wolf cannot survive without its pack. He had forgotten what it was like, struggling to survive on the streets all alone and fending for himself with no allies. These past two years, he has learnt to depend on others, and without the rest of his team, he feels lost. That only serves to make him more determined. As he reaches his destination, he circles the house once, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible, while marking possible escape routes. He’s been waiting to see what would happen with this building ever since its owners were publically executed two weeks prior, after getting accused of treason and being associated with the Rebellion. Baekhyun had thought that the couple’s property would be burnt to the ground, as he knew all too well what usually happened to those who had betrayed their glorious King – was it by plotting against him or stealing some bits of bread to get by the day. This time, the house had been spared. He guesses there were more important matters to resolve than an empty house with the lingering presence of two vice-regal rebels. The house’s location is good –almost too good to be true– far away from curious eyes, and with no prying neighbors around to notice him camping in there. Baekhyun still feels apprehensive, he can’t be sure that the guards won’t return and burn the building to ashes, but on the same time, he cannot afford to stay outside on the streets, not when there are so many potential threats around. As he quietly approaches the house’s door, he tries to convince himself that this is his best shot at surviving, that he’s run out of options, and that he might be lucky enough to find food and stay there for a few days. He sucks in a breath when he tries the doorknob, and, unsurprisingly, it opens with no resistance. Random objects are littering the floor, signs of the thorough search the guards must have conducted before leaving the house. The sight brings back unpleasant memories, burned and carved into his mind probably for eternity. Memories from another house; another life, it seems. Baekhyun has to close his eyes to pull himself back to the present. He cannot explain how, after all these years, he still gets the undeniable urge to flee when faced against what he lost. He focuses on the practical side of his task, not looking at the messy room before him; instead moving towards what seems to be the kitchen. He hasn’t eaten properly in what feels like forever; theft is much harder and much more dangerous when he has no one backing him up. Back before the Incident, it had been almost ridiculously easy. Four people were more than enough to stage a crafty plan and get some food on their plates. Usually, the four of them would get divided into pairs – most of the time, Baekhyun went with Jongdae and Minseok with Sehun. After picking the location, one pair would get to distract the people around and the other two would sneak in and grab everything they could carry without attracting too much attention. Baekhyun is proud to say that he and Jongdae used to make a great team, which is only natural, all the years they spent together considered. They would break in and get out without having so much as a glance thrown their way, and proceed to celebrating their successful operation when Minseok and Sehun returned from distraction duty. It pains him to think of them: the only people he has left. His closest and oldest friend, the one person he trusted unconditionally in this world, Jongdae with his bright smiles. His personal savior from back when he was a helpless teenager freshly kicked out on the streets, Minseok with the twinkling eyes and wise advice. And, finally, Sehun, the youngest of the lot, over whom Baekhyun felt so protective he was crushed after failing to keep him out of harm’s way. He should have done something; something to save them. But instead, he was weak, and helpless, and selfish, and a horrible friend when they needed him the most. “Don’t be a hero, Baek. Run!” He can still remember it as though it was yesterday. Minseok’s bleeding hand trying to hold on to a protesting Sehun as the guards violently lead them away, their thrashing pointless next to the numerous and heavily armed guards. Jongdae’s urgent expression as he grabs on Baekhyun's wrist and pushes him away, begging him to leave them all behind and never look back. He still remembers running away in the snow like a coward, away from the only people that still cared about him. He doesn't want to forget. He latches desperately onto every little detail he can recall; the furrow of Sehun's eyebrows as he realizes they've been caught, Minseok's concerned expression when they all come to the dreadful conclusion that they won't be able to get away, Jongdae's hand around his as they watch the guards running into the room. His own despair and mortification as he left the shady tavern behind. His guilt. He cannot allow himself to forget, not even for a second; not this time. He will save them, he will find a way. He has to. He condemned them when he walked away from them, and he can't fix it. Not as an irrelevant boy from Shadowcrest. Not when he doesn't know where they're being kept, if they're even still alive. Not without allies, not without help. His plan is more than faulty: it could even be considered stupid. Technically speaking, at least, there are far too many flaws, too many holes. One could say he hasn't thought it through properly, that he isn't on his right mind for even attempting such a feat, but in Baekhyun's head, it's worth a shot. More than that: it's worth his life. He owes it to them, the three people who are suffering alone due to his own cowardice; he owes so much more to them, he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to pay them back. As long as there is even the slimmest chance he'll manage to rescue them, he'll keep trying. No matter what, he had whispered, after he had reached safety on that eventful night, and the words are still stuck in his head. I'll find you again. It was much more than careless words in a snowy, cold and unforgiving night; it was an oath... an oath to keep with his final breath, if need be. * In the afternoon, after Baekhyun has spent some good amount of time conducting a search of his own around the house, he sets off to meet the one person that might be able to offer some substantial –and crucial– help to the realization of his plan. Baekhyun was incredibly reluctant to contact him at first, and he still desperately wishes there was any other way, but he isn't exactly a person with many connections. He soon learns that he could find their usual meeting spot with his eyes closed, his feet almost taking him to the small alleyway on their own accord. The place would be hard to spot, for someone who doesn't know Shadowcrest well enough. He navigates through the sector expertly, making sure he isn't being followed and he lies low when he runs into some patrolling guards, trying not to attract any unwanted attention. When he finally gets there, he finds no tall figure waiting for him hidden in the shadows of the small dead-end. It's not exactly surprising, Baekhyun has always liked to arrive early anyway. This time, however, his stomach is tied into a knot, his usual calm nowhere to be found as he clasps and unclasps his palms furiously. This was not their casual monthly meeting. Baekhyun had contacted him out of the blue, and he couldn't be sure whether the other would answer his call for aid. He doesn't know if they can be considered close enough to help each other out in such times, but he'll take his chances. For better or for worse, he shows up, in the end. He takes the turn too sharply, walks far too quickly, and Baekhyun is afraid they're going to raise suspicions. He can't blame the other male; he's simply not used to the life on the streets or sneaking around. He wasn't the one forced to live on the streets, a bitter voice whispers in his head, but Baekhyun has learnt to ignore it after so many years. If he lets himself fall victim to his resentment, he might as well lose his mind. "Hyung," he nods at the approaching person, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against, keeping his anxiety at bay. "Baekhyun," his brother's voice is hushed, and although it might all be in his mind, he seems oddly detached, as always. "How have you been?" He hesitates. Should he really do this? All these years they've been meeting like this, Baekhyun has never, not even once, asked something of him. His pride just wouldn't allow it, no matter how much remorse Baekbeom might show, no matter how many times he offered to help. How could he? How could he show any sign of vulnerability to the person that had abandoned him, leaving him to his own fate? Every time they met up, all Baekhyun had wanted to do was show him that he'd changed. That he was no longer the eleven year old helpless little boy, or the young teenager living off the help of another family. How badly he had wanted to prove he was another person; independent, strong, hardened... Someone reborn; a phoenix that had risen from the ashes. Throwing away all of his hard work proves itself to be harder than he had expected. He keeps thinking back to their first meeting in this very place. It had been all Minseok's idea, of course. Something about not leaving untreated scars, facing the past, saying goodbye to an old part of you; some shit like that. Back then, Jongdae hadn't joined them yet, and they hadn't even met Sehun. He can't refrain himself from thinking how far he's come from that day, when his hands were shaking so badly Minseok had to unclench his fists himself and hold them tightly enough to calm his nerves, when he could barely utter a word in front of Baekbeom. Each time, he managed to keep himself together just a little bit easier, to stop his voice from shaking, to hold eye contact... to show his brother that the years he spent without him hadn't broken him, they'd made him stronger. He doesn't want to do it. But then he thinks of Minseok's warm and understanding gaze every time Baekhyun needed someone to talk to, and Jongdae's arms sneakily wrapping him in a tight hug when he needed to be comforted, and Sehun's excited eyes when Baekhyun took him for his first thievery... And he figures he can throw his pride away for them. "I need your help," he admits, forcing the words out, struggling not to lower his eyes, to keep his voice level. "That would be a first," Baekbeom replies dryly, and Baekhyun thinks he might end up regretting his choice of trusting him. "What could you possibly want my help with? You've made it quite clear that you won't accept any money, or job, or whatever I have offered you." He takes a deep breath. He has to be convincing. Family. It has always been Baekbeom's soft spot, ironically. "Do you remember Kim Minseok? The guy you met the day I first contacted you?" Baekbeom looks surprised at this; after all, Baekhyun has always hated dwelling on his personal matters. "Of course I remember. What about him?" "Do you remember Jongdae?" His voice comes out quieter than he would have liked, but he figures it doesn't actually matter now. He has nothing more to lose. "The kid who lived next door?" Baekbeom arches an eyebrow, unable to make the connection between the two, who are, in his mind, separated by the fine line between his brother's past and present. "You see, hyung, along with another friend of mine, they were, um, captured, a few weeks ago." He's quick to explain how they'd all kind of stuck together for a few years, and actually talking to his brother feels strange after so many meetings of the typical greeting with only few exchanges following. He even goes through the Incident part, avoiding to mention the stealing bit – what Baekbeom doesn't know won't hurt him, he guesses. Baekbeom seems different in that little moment; more like the protective older brother Baekhyun remembers from his family home, playing with him around their small house, always making sure he was alright at night, as the guards appointed by the freshly crowned King chased away the homeless in an attempt to clear the city from its poorest habitants. It's clear that the spell breaks as soon as Baekhyun runs out of things to say, and the brothers both stiffen, seeming to be brought back to the present as they gain once again consciousness of their surroundings. "What could I possibly do to help out with your situation?" Baekbeom asks cautiously. "You don't expect me to lead a rescuing mission with you, do you?" "Nonsense," he says with a scoff. "Leading such a mission blindly would be suicide." Baekhyun decides there's been enough small talk so far. "I need you to get me a job." "A job," he repeats, frowning. "How would that help your friends?" "Not just any job. If your fancy house is any indication, I've picked up that your status has been steadily rising this past few years." He doesn't wait for a response. "I figured you'd be respected enough to grant me a job at the Palace." "The Palace?" Baekbeom looks disbelieving. "Are you kidding me?" "I have friends in there; people who should be able to help me." He looks at Baekbeom, gaze intense. "They're the only ones who could help me find out where they're kept, and how to get them out." He pauses. "Unless, of course, you know of another way to help me." "You expect me to believe you have friends inside the most well-protected area of the whole country that is Winterlake; and that these friends would be willing to betray the royal family's trust to help you?" "I don't expect you to believe anything I say," Baekhyun fumes, angry because it's a lot like his brother, to doubt everything he says. "I just want you to get me the goddamn job." Baekbeom looks at him and huffs, "You'd seriously risk your life for them? You do realize that this plan of yours has a minimal success rate, right?" "Well, thank you for the vote of confidence, hyung," he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I am fully aware of what I'm getting myself into. I know how difficult it will be to sneak around the Palace, I know it's the best-guarded place in the kingdom, and I definitely know how strict the royals are with those who violate their laws. You of all people should know that I've witnessed first-hand just how heartless they can become." He wants his last words to sting, wants Baekbeom to know what it was like for him, when his brother turned his back on him, choosing his status over his own blood. It hadn't been an easy period in Baekhyun's life. Technically, nothing was Baekbeom's fault. Being eight years older than Baekhyun, he had already left the household, ready to pursue his ambitions and become successful and rich. After he left, everything had gone to hell. Their parents, desperately trying to support their oldest son financially, and spending almost all their savings for Baekbeom's new house, failed to pay their taxes. After two months and several warnings, they were blacklisted, and guards swarmed into their house to demand money Baekhyun's family didn't possess. Baekhyun doesn't think he'll ever forget the day... "Then why would you risk everything for them? You can survive on your own," Baekbeom breaks the train of memories, of burning houses and haunting screams. "You just don't understand, do you?" Baekhyun's voice has gotten loud –too loud for the quiet area they've picked– but he just can't bring himself to care at that moment. "They're the only people I have left. They're the only ones who ever bothered caring about me. They're my only family." His speech seems to surprise Baekbeom, the younger notices with satisfaction. "I'm your family. I was there with you while you grew up, I basically raised you alongside mom and dad. Even if they're gone, we're still tied. I care about you." "Oh really? So where were you, hyung, as the guards invaded our home and threatened to kill us all if mom and dad didn't pay up our taxes? Where were you while I waited, locked in a closet, only able to hear the commotion and frantic shouting from the hallway? Where the hell were you when the flames started spreading; our parents dying ... where were you when all this happened?" He doesn't allow his voice to break, or his stare to waver. He relishes watching Baekbeom's eyes widen. They've never talked about that night before. He wants to be strong for this. The moment he finally confronts his brother about everything. "You know I... I didn't know what was happening. Later- I only received word long after..." His voice trails off, and he seems unsure of how to proceed. "I'm not blaming you for not being with us. You think I don't know what happened next?" He gives a humorless laugh. "I know our neighbors contacted you when they found out I had survived. I know all about how you refused to take me in after that." He pauses, trying to muster the courage to ask the question he's been dying to voice out for years. "Why didn't you?" "I couldn't. I just- If I had taken you in, I would be associating myself with a family of traitors." Baekbeom's words are like steel in Baekhyun's ears, even if his brother's eyes betray his vulnerability. "I knew you'd be far safer with the King believing you dead. Think about it, Baekhyun. I gave you the chance to start afresh." His blood boils. "Start afresh? As an eleven year old who just lost his parents, without money, without shelter? I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy, but this new start you say you believed possible could have never worked. I had nothing!" "You did survive," Baekbeom shoots back. "You survived! And you're here now. Isn't that all that matters?" "I wouldn't have survived on my own!" As the words leave his mouth, a scene flashes in his mind. "Jongdae found me." There's smoke everywhere. He is still locked inside the dreadful closet, hugging his knees close as breathing becomes more difficult. His head is hung low, in an effort to keep the voice out of his head. It's not very effective. He can still hear his mother half-heartedly screaming, nearly sobbing. It stops, after a while. Baekhyun doesn't want to dwell on what that means. Instead he lets his instincts kick in, and he tries to push the closet door open. It won't open. He hands are shaking, and he tries to breathe slowly, to calm his nerves. It doesn't work. He feels terrified. The temperature is starting to rise, and Baekhyun feels tears escaping his eyes as the damn smoke suffocates him. He can only faintly hear some commotion outside the door, but it might as well be his imagination. He feels so tired... maybe he should simply stop trying. His mother had promised; she wouldn't leave him here. He had to believe in that. 'It'll be alright, Baek,' she had said as she ruffled his hair, throwing worried looks over her shoulder, listening to the guards talking with Baekhyun's father downstairs, their voices increasing in volume as the seconds passed. 'You just stay in here, alright?' She had whispered it as if it was a secret, which only confused Baekhyun more. 'Don't come out until I return, okay sweetheart?' Baekhyun had only nodded, because his mother always knew best, and if she thought he should stay put, that's what he would do. If he had known better, he would have picked up on the slightly panicked tone in her voice, or the alarmed look in her eyes. It would all be alright. Everything was going to be fine. He just has to wait a little longer. Baekhyun is too far gone when the door flies open, two heads poking inside, the oldest rushing to check if he is still breathing. After that, there's nothing but absolute darkness. “Jongdae found me,” he repeats. “He and his brother found me dying, trapped inside a burning house. They took me in. They sheltered me, going against their King for me. They dared to associate themselves with a family of traitors. And yet, you couldn't do it. Let that sink in, before you start claiming you're my family.” His eyes are burning, because it's entirely different to admit it aloud, even if he's known for years. “When you refused to meet with me and take me in, they were the ones who helped. Their whole family were more welcoming than you were. I stayed there for years, Baekbeom! They proved themselves to be more of a family to me than you ever were.” “I don’t know what to say,” Baekbeom whispers, taken aback. “I know I didn’t act as the best brother, but you have to understand, Baekhyun. It was hard for me too. I was already looked down upon due to the sole fact that I was of such a poor background. When people learnt that my parents had been executed, they stopped trusting me altogether! I couldn’t take you in, I just couldn’t.” He stops, and Baekhyun finds it hard to contain his anger. He’s about to lash out when Baekbeom continues. “You of all people should understand. You know how hard it is to survive, better than anyone. I merely did what I had to do to come out of this alive.” Only Baekhyun doesn’t want to hear his damn excuses anymore. Maybe that makes him immature, but he doesn’t want his anger towards his brother to dissipate. He refuses to sympathize with him. After all, it’s always much easier to live with hatred by blaming someone, rather than focusing on sorrow and loss. If he really lets go of this stubborn grudge, what does he have left? “Promise me you’ll get me the job.” Baekhyun brings back the original subject. “I’ve never asked you for anything before. This is important.” Baekbeom nods slowly. “I’ll try, Baekhyun. I’ll try.” For the first time in those few weeks Baekhyun’s been alone, he thinks he’s finally getting somewhere. In that moment, maybe influenced by the sudden hope that overwhelms him, he makes a promise. Not only to himself, but to Jongdae and Minseok and Sehun, and even his long-gone parents. Where he failed the first time, he will now succeed. This time he has a different kind of family to fight for. He is no longer the terrified little boy he was ten years ago, hiding in his mother’s closet as the ear-splitting screams penetrated into his mind to leave a scar bigger than any child should ever learn to bear. He will save his friends, whatever it takes. He won’t settle for being one more Winterlake habitant, helpless and on the ground, only ever able to live with the suffering as more and more blows keep coming, making no move to rise. He will fight for what matters to him, he will fight, and he will keep his word, stay true to his oath. * Everything escalates too quickly after that. True to his word, Baekbeom does try, and succeeds, at finding him a job, which shouldn’t really surprise Baekhyun at all. Within the next few days, he barely gets the time to have a short exchange of letters with his contact inside the Palace, telling him he would be there soon to start working and arranging for them to meet, carefully phrasing his words as to not attract any suspicions in case the letters going in and out of the Palace were being controlled. His thoughts often wander, and he keeps catching himself thinking about how the Palace will be up close. He can’t really help it; since he was a child, he has looked upon the beautiful castle from afar, filled with wonder and admiration. The fact that he’ll be soon living there feels… weird, more than anything. The mere prospect of living so close to the royal family, being around so many people, having a stable job and a roof over his head resembles his childhood dream a lot, which does nothing but make him feel more uneasy. Afterwards, he usually feels strangely guilty. He is going there with a purpose; not for vacation, not to settle, not to have the time of his life, not to dream of luxury. His friends are somewhere out there suffering, and that’s what he should focus on. That’s the mantra he keeps repeating to himself as he walks through Shadowcrest the next morning, his few possessions packed neatly in a small bag, his scarf tied around his neck. Baekhyun had tried to protest when Baekbeom had given him the new clothes, but he couldn’t disagree with his brother’s argument that it would seem suspicious if he strolled into the Palace with no luggage whatsoever, especially since he was supposedly going there to work for a long time. For some reason, this last walk through the sector he grew up in holds some levels of finality. He feels like he’s saying goodbye, and while under normal circumstances he thinks he wouldn’t mind leaving the hellhole that is Shadowcrest, he cannot shake the bad feeling that what he’s about to walk into won’t end well. With this unpleasant premonition, he enters Highcourt, the sector separating Shadowcrest from the Grand Palace, meant solely for the rich, and the distant royalty. He numbly shows the permit Baekbeom got for him (one more thing he could have never obtained on his own) to the guards in charge of the borders, who let him through with a curt nod. Entering Highcourt is like entering a parallel universe. The contrast is shocking. The streets are incredibly neat, the buildings unbelievably imposing, and there’s simply so much space. It’s the very first time he’s witnessed such luxurious surroundings, having spent his whole life in the poorest neighborhoods of Shadowcrest, far away from the borders with Highcourt and these fragments of the life of the privileged. He’s tempted to turn around and never return; the foreign environment too intimidating to handle. If this is merely the sector of the rich, what will the Palace be like? * It looks absolutely stunning. He’s seen it from afar before of course. When he was little, he would sit with his mother by his window, stare at the castle up the hill, and dream for the moment he would climb those stairs and go through those majestic doors, while his mother told him tales of pretty castles and kings and queens. It is a more refined version of Highcourt, perhaps. With its magnificent towers that rise up to the sky looking incredibly imposing and its countless windows reflecting the light of a crimson sunset, the heavy wooden gate he meets upon crossing the stone bridge could be very well leading to paradise. As the gate opens before him, Baekhyun decides that if there was a single spot in this world of mortals one could truly call ‘paradise’, this would be it. The Palace is situated on a hill, encircled half by sturdy walls and half by the waters of the Lake. The hill descends directly by the Lake’s shore, accessed from the castle through steep stone stairs. He doesn’t know whether it has something to do with the beauty of facing it for the first time this close, or if it is merely the fact that the place is sheer magic on its own: the mix of the stonework walls and the crystal clear waters of the Lake seems otherworldly, almost. One thing is for sure, the castle is no less than breath-taking. The Palace is definitely busier than the quiet roads of Highcourt and the creepily silent neighborhoods of Shadowcrest. Every corner is buzzing with life; no matter where he looks, people are running on the large road that encircles the Palace; all servants of the royal family, as it seems, and focused on their tasks. Baekhyun is left frozen in the middle of all the commotion, not knowing exactly where to go from there. Should he ask around to find out what he’s supposed to be doing? Or simply wait for someone to notice him standing there? “Hey!” a deep voice cuts through the noise, and he turns his head curiously to find its source. There is a tall man making his way through the people working, a large grin plastered on his face even as his long limbs bump into a few people and he stumbles; without a doubt talking to him. “Hey, you’re the new guy, right? Brought by Baekbeom?” Baekhyun smiles and nods, incredibly relieved. “Yeah, that’s right. I’m Baekhyun.” If the tall stranger finds it weird that their names resemble each other so much, he doesn’t let it show. Instead, his smile widens, if that is even possible at all. “Chanyeol. I’m supposed to guide you through your first weeks here.” He motions for Baekhyun to follow him and they move away from the gates, deeper into royal territory. “Never been to the Palace before?” Chanyeol asks, throwing an amused side-glance at Baekhyun, who seems immersed into taking in every detail of his new surroundings. “No,” he answers. “Never.” “Alright, then. You have a lot to learn,” Chanyeol says, getting into business and sighing. “First thing you should know: servants are only allowed to move freely in the far eastern wing of the palace. It is near the Grey Tower, over there. Everywhere else, there’s a curfew. The bell will sound when it’s time.” Chanyeol goes on and on; about where his room is situated –be careful with those too friendly strangers, the area is well known for the numerous thefts, by the way, and no one cares about it when the victims are servants–, where the quarters of the royal family are –you are absolutely not allowed anywhere near their chambers without permission!–, how he should be efficient in his job –most people would be more than eager to rat you out if you don’t perform well–, where the infirmary and other important locations are… by the end of it, Baekhyun can feel a headache starting. He has half a mind to stop himself from asking where the prison is located, go fetch his friends – and probably die trying. “So, basically, I stay away from any royals, I stick strictly to the curfew, and remember where my room is,” Baekhyun summarizes, his head swarming with all the new information and trying to focus on the important details. “Yup, that’s pretty much it,” Chanyeol nods, satisfied. “And the stables, of course.” “The stables?” “Well, yeah.” The taller man gives him a weird look, eyebrows scrunching together. “It is the place you’ll be spending most of your time around.” What? “What do you mean?” Baekhyun questions, a suspicion starting to form in his head. “You are going to work in the stables, right? Wait, did I get you mixed up with the new cook?” Oh, it’s anything but a mistake. Baekbeom, that bastard. *** “I’m telling you, Tao, they’re insufferable!” Lu Han whines, voice muffled by the pillows underneath his head. His bodyguard, used to the Prince’s complaints, only offers him an amused smile for comfort. “Come on, you secretly agree, don’t you? I mean, I get that you cannot say much, considering the fact that they are your King and Queen, but please tell me I’m not in the wrong this time,” Lu Han pleads, sitting up abruptly. “With all due respect, your Majesty, I think you are slightly overreacting.” Lu Han once again marvels over how much Tao has changed since taking up the Military school in order to become a guard. When they were both children, the younger had no mouth filter, letting out whatever was on his mind. Now, here he is, all grown up, professional and responsible when he is on duty. Lu Han sighs dramatically. “You’re no fun, Zitao,” he grumbles, using his true name on purpose to aggravate him. “You don’t understand my pain at all.” Tao smiles again, and his eyes crinkle up in the corners. Lu Han thinks he’s goddamn lucky to have had the chance to choose his own bodyguard. He cannot imagine living with any of the men his father wanted to assign to him. “What are you doing here so early though?” Lu Han asks confused, realizing that the sun hasn’t even risen yet. “Don’t tell me that Father asked for me again.” “You asked me to come and wake you early today. Suffering from memory loss again?” Tao jokes, and Lu Han dejectedly throws a pillow his way. “I remember now, thank you very much,” he declares, indeed remembering his absurd wish to take a stroll by the Lake before beginning his day. He gets up, grabbing a shirt on his way to the bathroom. Then, under his breath, he adds: “You know I’m not a morning person.” “You have not forgotten that you have to be present at the war council this afternoon, right?” Tao calls after him, and Lu Han just huffs. “As if I’m allowed to participate in any significant way.” “Oh, for the love of God, stop complaining, Lu Han,” Tao exclaims in exasperation. Lu Han smirks, more pleased to see his young bodyguard calling him by his name rather than annoyed at the remark. “I’ll fire you,” he mocks, before dismissing him and disappearing through the door. *** Baekhyun finds it oddly reassuring, how empty the Palace’s corridors are at such an early hour. Considering how the same space had seemed so different yesterday upon his arrival, when every corner was buzzing with busy people running in and out of heavy wooden doors, the change is fairly impressive – and refreshing. It’s good to know that he’ll be able to indulge in a few moments of silence and solitude; he’s not sure he could survive any other way. The life at the Palace is of a bright contrast to the loneliness of the small paths across Shadowcrest. Everything here was glamorous, in a certain way. Even being a servant –or a stable boy, much to his dismay– seems to hold some prestige in it. It is all too overwhelming for someone who has grown up in simplicity and poverty the way Baekhyun has. Alas, he knows what he signed up for. And his purpose is much more important than staying in his comfort zone, so he will have to get used to it, one way or another. It will be alright, he tries to convince himself. So what if he’s never in his life interacted with a horse before? It can’t be that bad. He has survived famine, and being homeless. What misfortune can a horse cause? Besides, he will hopefully not be staying for long, and he’s certain someone will be available to teach him what he needs to know about his job. For now, all he needs is something to get his mind off everything. A stroll in the gardens would be ideal, but Chanyeol made a point of emphasizing the rule stating that the gardens are meant for the royalty, and not the servants. Chanyeol’s frustration about the fact that the royal family could dictate so easily where they were and were not allowed to go had slipped out, yet as soon as the words left his mouth he had seemed to regret saying anything against his bosses, which had led to some mild awkwardness, but Baekhyun found Chanyeol’s talkativeness sweet more than anything else. It made him feel welcome, somehow. He figured that a walk beside the Lake is the next best thing, and since he will apparently break no laws by going, he’ll take it. Chanyeol had helpfully pointed out that most Palace employees used the Lake to clean the dirt off their skin –he had also for some reason thought that graphically describing how filthy they could get after a whole day of work was a good idea–, and although Baekhyun had some doubts about the temperature of the waters, what with the season being ice-cold and all, he guesses he really should take up this chance and start his first day in the stables fresh and clean. Therefore, when he reaches the top of the steep stone stairs descending through the hill to the Lake, he doesn’t miss a beat, and, carefully as to not slip and fall to his death, he makes his way down. The landscape is picturesque; Baekhyun has always thought that the combination of water and mountain is a fascinating sight, even though when he arrives in front of the Lake the dead-calm waters give him the chills, most likely due to the prospect of actually entering what doesn’t exactly look like a hot spot. As he starts taking off his clothes, he cannot help but shiver at the cold gust of wind that runs through the air. He is only in his thin shirt, after having taken off his cloak and jerkin. By the time he rids himself of his shirt, Baekhyun has reconsidered his opinion on the winter weather (which now hovers right above ‘hate’), and wants to get this over with as soon as possible. Who would have thought a day would come when Baekhyun would anticipate interacting with a bunch of royal stallions? However, before he has the chance to take off his breeches, someone behind him clears his throat. Baekhyun swirls around, a soft gasp leaving his lips before he can stop it. How could he not hear whoever it is approaching him? “Oh God, you scared me.” He lets out, huffing when he sees it’s just another guy, probably around his age, if not younger. “What are you doing here?” the man questions, a slight frown on his delicate features. Now that Baekhyun takes a closer look at him, he realizes that he is quite a handsome young man. His features are borderline perfect: small nose, delicate mouth, a sparkling pair of eyes. The more Baekhyun looks at him, the more he marvels over the man’s impressive bone-structure. The clean white shirt he is wearing clings nice to his body, and his breeches, matched with a pair of beautiful riding boots, give him an impeccably appealing look. Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrow. Are there many things he could be doing shirtless by the lake? “What does it look like?” Baekhyun is more than willing to blame his lack of social interactions as of lately for this slightly aggressive and unpleasant response. The other male doesn’t exactly look fazed or hurt, perhaps only a tad surprised. “Like you think jumping in the lake with this temperature would be a good idea and you wouldn’t… freeze to death, or something?” “When you say it like that it sounds kind of, um, insane,” Baekhyun admits, because really? He’s starting to doubt his own reasoning, sometimes. The stranger’s eyes sparkle in amusement, and Baekhyun can tell the other is laughing at his embarrassment. “Am I not allowed to be here?” He smiles sheepishly. “Sorry. I’m new.” “Oh,” the stranger lets out, eyes widening slightly. “No, no, of course you’re allowed to be here.” He sighs in relief. “Alright. Because, you know, there are so many rules I was worried I missed the ‘servants to keep away from the Lake’ announcement.” He pauses for a second, and seeing as the other isn’t contributing much to the conversation except for a small chuckle, he tries to fill the silence. “Um, are you here to bathe in the Lake as well?” It would make sense, definitely. He was wearing a shirt far too thin for the weather, and what other business would anyone have at the Lake in this hour? “Oh, no. I was just… craving the peace and quiet, I guess.” Then there’s that wide smile again, and Baekhyun thinks it’s the first time he meets someone that smiles so damn much. Although maybe that is mostly because all the people he’s met before didn’t have much of a reason to smile to begin with. “Well, I’m going to go now,” he says, and conversing seems to have gotten easier for him, so he adds, “I didn’t undress for nothing.” His words seem to encourage the other to roam his eyes down his body, however, and Baekhyun feels mildly uncomfortable. He recovers pretty quickly, and finds the attention pleasant, if anything. Jongdae has always said he craves attention, and maybe he is right, in the end. “Enjoying the view?” he ends up asking, not bothering to hide his smirk. A little flirting is not forbidden, is it? The other lifts his head, pleasantly surprised by the looks of it. He is definitely an interesting one, Baekhyun thinks. If he were him, he would probably stand there staring like an idiot. The guy is no servant; no way. No, more likely he’s a rich friend of the royals, or maybe even some distant royalty himself. His skin is clear, the light shirt he’s wearing clean… he can’t exactly explain it, but he simply doesn’t look battered, unlike the rest of the people he has come across at the Palace so far. He’s probably led an easy life, away from hardships and trouble. “Well,” the man replies, a devilish, barely-suppressed smile lighting up his face, “there’s not much to look at, is there?” Baekhyun laughs, a bemused smile lingering on his lips, feigning to be offended. “Why, you got something better to offer?” he challenges, craning his head to look at the other’s skinny frame. “Wouldn’t you like to find out.” This has turned out to be an incredibly fun exchange, and it is exactly the kind of distraction he needed. Yet, barely five seconds later, his blood runs cold… Legend has it that those who have powerful royal blood running through their veins are inked. In an effort to show to all their superiority and the core of their identity, the rulers of the Lands of the Mist and their heirs had collectively decided to bear a tattooed crown in the spot under their left collarbone a few generations back. It is the same tattoo he faces right now, inked on the stranger’s chest. He’s not some rich fool. Not some distant royalty. “You…” Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do. All his brain is able to process is that he’s facing the enemy, the Prince of the country himself, and all his head can do is scream at him to get the fuck away as soon as possible, as well as helpfully point out that this is the son of the man he probably despises most in this world. Oh, this is bad. Like, real bad. Baekhyun’s eyes cannot seem to look away from that small crown he noticed by chance, merely visible under the shirt the young prince is wearing. How didn’t he see that sooner? “You’re the Prince,” he intelligently points out, and even in his ears it sounds horribly accusatory. “You didn’t know.” Baekhyun grabs his shirt from where he had left it, quickly putting it on before grabbing his jerkin and cloak without bothering to wear them, all the while murmuring ‘I can’t fucking believe this.’ He passes a very confused prince, but at this point, all he wants is to disappear. Good grace, how could he fuck up so badly? “Hey, wait!” the prince calls out after him, and in his hurry to get away, Baekhyun almost trips all the way down the stairs he is currently climbing. * To his credit, Baekhyun realizes how badly he handled the whole situation. First of all, why did he feel the need to flirt with a complete stranger that appeared out of the blue? Then there’s the part where he was too distracted by a pair of sparkling eyes and some suggestive words to notice the fact that the man standing in front of him was the damn prince. And, of course, to top it all, there’s that moment where he decided it would be wise to walk away from one of the most powerful men in the kingdom, after completely freaking out at the sudden revelation that he had, in fact, just flirted with the fucking prince. Indeed, it is not the ideal handling of a tough situation. The day is turning out to be extremely shitty. After the whole fiasco with Prince Lu Han and a hurried breakfast with a malfunctioning Chanyeol who apparently isn’t capable of much in the mornings, he quickly goes to the stables, only to find the place vacant save for a few workers who don’t even know who he is supposed to be. Aren’t there supposed to be other people working with him? A good hour and a thousand sighs later, finally someone seems to arrive. Unfortunately, it turns out to be just some bubbly teenager who was sent by Baekhyun’s supervisor to deliver the message that he is to be absent for the day due to family issues. “Wait!” Baekhyun calls out, as the other prepares to leave. “What am I supposed to do today?” “Uh, I don’t know… just… clean the stables or something,” he throws over his shoulder, leaving a dumbstruck Baekhyun behind. * “Yeah, ‘just clean the stables’,” Baekhyun is muttering to himself half an hour later, a broom in his hand, looking uneasily at the numerous stalls in front of him, flinching at the occasional neigh. Baekhyun has come to the obvious conclusion that he doesn’t like horses. Or horses really don’t like him. Or perhaps it’s just a mutual dislike. Yeah, that’s probably it. Judging from the loud huffs he cannot help but notice as he cleans the corridor that passes through their stalls, Baekhyun assumes they either hold a stubborn kind of grudge against the entire human species or he is just exceptionally despicable. He never would have thought he would be dealing with such meaningless problems as horses and working and meeting the Prince. What he had expected was a frantic search for his friends with the time pressing, secret meetings with his contact; maybe even some nightly explorations in forbidden parts of the castle. These problems, the ones he had expected, he was prepared to face; he’d been dealing with them all his life. He didn’t know a thing about how to treat horses, or what behavior was considered normal, or how to deal with princes. He sighs once again and grimaces at the filth around him. God, how could people even get used to the horrid smell that reigned over the stables? Hell, if he were a horse and had to live here, he would probably be just as grumpy. Lost in his thoughts, he is taken completely by surprise when the horse in the stall closest to him lets out a persistent whinny, and he quickly scrambles backwards, his careless steps leading him to walk straight into horse shit. “Fuck!” he exclaims, a disgusted frown on his face as he looks down at his feet. “Shit, shit, shit.” “Quite literally so, I’m afraid,” a voice sounds behind him, quickly followed by hardly-contained laughter. Baekhyun’s face heats up almost as quickly as he turns around to glare at the two men standing by the entrance, concealed by the shadows. Seriously, people in this palace make a horrible habit out of creeping up to others like this. “I didn’t know I had any spectators,” he says, hostile. “Oh, excuse us,” the taller figure of the two says with a much higher voice than the one that had spoken out previously, “Prince Lu Han and I are just here for our horses,” he continues, as they both step out towards the nearest stalls. Prince Lu Han? Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “I am deeply sorry,” the other person, that is indeed very clearly the prince, speaks out, face still distorted in amusement, “I know I should not laugh,” he adds before breaking into a fit of laughter again. Baekhyun frowns, unamused, all the while staring at the prince who seems thoroughly entertained. His laugh is pleasant to listen to, he thinks mindlessly, yet not so pleasant to look at. It’s funny, but he would have never expected the Prince of Winterlake to look like this. He didn’t expect the slightly disjoined jaw, or the exaggerated way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs; he never would have expected someone who looks so… normal, so approachable. “Your Majesty.” Baekhyun bows, because it is never too late to be polite, right? “We meet again,” Lu Han says, and any hope Baekhyun had that the prince might have forgotten about that incident dissipates. “I should apologize for my earlier behavior,” he says, embarrassedly rubbing the back of his nape. “I didn’t recognize you. Uh, as I mentioned before, I’m new.” “Oh, no; no need for apologies,” Prince Lu Han waves it off with a grin. “I guess I should have told you who I was from the beginning. You know, having someone be so oblivious about my identity… it was a pleasant change,” he continues with a wink. The man beside the prince suddenly clears his throat, and the attention shifts to him. Baekhyun has only begun to realize how he blatantly ignored his presence. Oh Lord, what if it is another royal? “Oh. I forwent the introductions. Well, my dear stable boy, this is my bodyguard, Tao. Don’t mind the lifeless exterior and frightening stare; he is like this with everyone.” Lu Han has an interesting way of carrying himself. He seems blissfully talkative and ever-so-slightly careless –if not ignorant– yet his eyes tell a different tale. He follows everything carefully; he gauged his bodyguard’s reaction before joking around, and even his words that he makes seem so casually spoken hold an underlined thoughtfulness in them. Baekhyun wonders what he thinks of him, all of a sudden. How much could he have figured out from one –now two– brief encounters? “Pleased to meet you,” Baekhyun ends up saying simply, with a significantly lighter bow. Tao nods in response, before offering a smile. “Anyway, we don’t want to bother you, or keep you from work, so we are just going to take our horses and leave,” Lu Han says, chipper as he drags Tao down the corridor. “It was nice seeing you, uh…?” “Baekhyun.” “Pleased to formally meet you, Baekhyun. I am certain I will be seeing you around.” *** “So…” Tao trails off, and Lu Han rolls his eyes. “‘So’ what?” Lu Han ventures, choosing to play ignorant in order to delay the thorough interrogation he will surely have to suffer. “So, who was that?” Tao asks impatiently, trying to catch his eye as they unsaddle their horses. “That was Baekhyun. Did you not hear him?” “You are so annoying, you know that?” “You know you love me,” Lu Han responds, blinking up at him innocently. “Anyway, before your venturing imagination goes to weird places,” he says pointedly, “It’s just a guy I encountered by the Lake this morning. He didn’t know who I was, and was a bit flustered when he found out.” Lu Han knows it is more than this. The other male was not simply ‘flustered’ when they had met earlier, he was fucking terrified. It was definitely an odd reaction, and Lu Han had been on the brink of asking him what had triggered it, but he had stopped himself. There was definitely something going on, and he felt like he needn’t make things more awkward. “Oh,” Tao says, “really? I thought it was some sort of new fling or something.” Tao grins at him and Lu Han slaps the back of his head affectionately. “Hey, who do you think I am?” Lu Han fakes offense, before lowering his voice considerably. “I only met him once! Am I some kind of whore?” “The biggest of them all,” Tao says dryly. “Ha-ha. Is that a way to address your boss, and, more than that, your Prince? Seriously, you little runt.” Tao laughs. “In any case, Baekhyun seems nice.” He does. He really does. Lu Han was not lying when he said it had been a long time since someone hadn’t immediately recognized him. Was he really in the wrong for wanting to indulge that moment? If he had known Baekhyun would freak out like that, he would have definitely revealed his identity from the beginning. Their exchange had been fun, and Lu Han realized how much he had missed hearing light-hearted, flirty comments. He had missed casual interactions, and making new acquaintances, and having somebody speak to him sincerely. How long had it been since someone outside his friends had not suffocated him with their fake flattery? How long had it been since anyone had taken real interest in him, and not his royal background? Baekhyun, for him, had been something new, something refreshing, and Lu Han would be lying if he said he wouldn’t like to get the chance to know him. He had always wished to talk to someone with such a largely different background, to get to know how the world looked outside the sometimes confining castle walls. He sometimes feels imprisoned inside his own home, and while he does not want to be selfish and not cherish what he has, he feels that so many things have been kept from him, and he just wishes he had lived more. “Yeah, he does,” Lu Han ends up saying, shaking his head lightly to rid himself of his thoughts and smiling, albeit non-convincingly. Tao probably picks up on the sudden change in Lu Han’s mood, because he swiftly changes the subject. “I heard you are meeting with Yixing this afternoon.” “Yes.” A wave of longing clouds his eyes for a split second, taken by surprise at how quickly all the memories come rushing back. It doesn’t last long. He cannot afford not to be okay for long. “It will be just like old times!” he tries to say excitedly, his smile already looking more sincere. “Yeah,” Tao agrees, and his expression is for once filled with enthusiasm. “It won’t be the four of us again, but that’s okay.” “It’s good enough. At least for me.” *** “Is this part of my training process or something?” Baekhyun asks, and although the question was asked with utmost curiosity, Chanyeol laughs, as if it was the dumbest question he has ever heard in his life. “Nah,” he finishes by answering, “I just felt like showing you a bit more around the castle.” Baekhyun doesn’t stop wondering what has come into the younger male, even as they step into the main court, and his interest shifts to his surroundings. This is a good chance, he tells himself. His first chance at finding out more about the mysterious Palace. It has been a few days since his arrival, and nothing interesting has happened yet. His work at the stables fortunately became much more specific and clear after his supervisor explained to him what exactly he was assigned to do. It turns out the Prince and Tao are regularly at the stables, and although that made him uncomfortable at first, he has made peace with their presence and learnt to ignore the looks he received from either the prince or his bodyguard. Now, he is finally getting his opportunity to ask around a bit more, hopefully discover something important. “Say, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun inquires, trying to seem only mildly interested, “do all of these corridors lead somewhere?” They are now indoors, in the wing near the stables where the hospital and the public library are, and he mindlessly thinks that this ward is obviously not only for the servants. The servant ward was almost creepily empty most of the time, and the decorations were non-existent. “I’m guessing most of them do lead somewhere.” He offers a shrug. “Although it is impossible for people like us to know. You know, what with not being allowed everywhere.” Baekhyun nods, as he keeps checking out every corridor and looking down every flight of stairs. “I just do not understand the point of all the rooms in the castle,” he murmurs. “What do they even do with so much space?” His question is left unanswered, most likely because Chanyeol doesn’t know the answer either. It’s funny, but Chanyeol really reminds him of Jongdae sometimes. He’s the same amount of playful, and has the same way of making him feel comfortable, at home. He thinks they would click well together, if they were to ever meet. Chanyeol is gentle and kind, has an actual sense of humor (that is always greatly appreciated by both Jongdae and Baekhyun); he would definitely find his place in their group of friends. If he thinks hard enough, he can imagine the younger male sitting with them in some abandoned building, sharing with them the food they had managed to steal, joking around with Sehun and trying to lift the mood when one of them felt dejected. The image makes him want to smile, although as he turns to face Chanyeol his eyes sting a bit. “Hey, Baek,” Chanyeol tugs at his hand, “come this way.” Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrow when he sees the dirty, shady corridor Chanyeol is prepared to turn to. Where could this possibly lead? “Trust me,” the younger smiles, and Baekhyun looks around to see if anyone is looking at them before vanishing behind Chanyeol. "Chanyeol? You sure you know where we are going?" Baekhyun whispers, legitimately worried, barely able to make out Chanyeol's figure in the darkness. "I know this corridor better than my own room. Don't worry. Here." Chanyeol comes to a stop and from what Baekhyun can see, he reaches for the handle of some door in front of them and pushes it open. Immediately, a dim light floods the corridor, and Chanyeol pushes Baekhyun inside before hastily shutting the door behind the both of them. The room is cramped, even smaller than the one Baekhyun lives in. It is peculiarly clean, however, which probably means it's used often. Baekhyun is ready to throw a questioning look at Chanyeol and demand what they are doing here, if they're even allowed to be there, but just before the words leave his lips, he notices a silhouette move away from the shadows next to what seems like a really old bookcase. When he realizes who it is, he gapes incredulously, alternating to looking between the familiar figure and a widely-smiling Chanyeol by his side. "What the fuck?" he lets out in utter disbelief. This couldn't be... "It's good to see you too, hyung.” “Jongin?” he asks, just to make sure his eyes are not fooling him. There is no doubt; even if it has been nearly two years, he would recognize the younger boy everywhere. “You two know each other?” Jongin and Chanyeol both nod, and Baekhyun thinks it is almost abnormal to see those two next to each other. They belonged in completely different parts of his life in his mind; seeing them collide is downright weird. “I asked of Chanyeol to keep an eye out for your arrival,” Jongin says, the wide smile Baekhyun had always found incredibly adorable in place, and Baekhyun figures that his words make sense. How else were they supposed to find each other after he moved in the Palace? “I would love to stay, but I really should go,” Chanyeol speaks out a few moments later, motioning towards the door. “They’re expecting me. Baek, I’ll catch you later?” Even as those words leave his mouth, his eyes are stuck on Jongin’s, a silent conversation going on between them, and, with one lingering look, Chanyeol is out of the room. “Chanyeol… a Rebel?” Baekhyun asks, disbelieving. He tries to picture the energetic, lanky, ungraceful guy he knows as a member of the feared and intimidating Rebellion. Impossible. “I… I don’t know how to feel about this.” Jongin seems thoroughly amused at his reaction. “Hard to believe at first, I know. But Chanyeol did join the Rebellion two years ago, when he and I met. He is surprisingly useful. He ended up being quite smarter, and much more efficient than the higher-ups had expected, and he turned out to be a great ally. I am quite proud to say I saw the prospect in him myself, and that he is now one of our most precious contacts.” The pride is evident in Jongin’s features. Pride… and, if he looks close enough, affection. “But why didn’t you meet me sooner, if you already had the way?” “I had some things to take care of, and some research to do… Chanyeol also suggested that you would need some time to adapt to the lifestyle here.” “True enough.” He pauses. “It’s so good to see you,” he finally whispers. “How have you been? It’s been a while.” Baekhyun cannot help but reminisce the night they first found Jongin. It had been a horribly hot and humid night, the air suffocating, absolutely no sign of wind. That summer season had been the one when the number of guards had horrifically augmented, leaving all of them highly worried. Sehun, who had run away from home merely one year before at the age of sixteen, had been especially fidgety, convinced that they were going to get caught and he would be forced to return to his family, and succumb to their plans of being sold into the Military. The four of them had been going on about how unfair it was that a couple would seriously even consider selling their only child against his will into a system known for its harsh and merciless nature; complaining about how it could even be legal. Sehun, who at that moment had been saying how his parents had always seemed more interested in maintaining their small fortune and maybe even getting the chance to cross the borders and move to Highcourt as they had been dreaming their whole lives, had been the last one to notice the unmoving slumped figure in the wall next to the entrance of the building they were crashing in. The three older boys had exchanged curious and concerned glances, while Sehun was still immersed in his rant. “Why are we stopping?” Minseok had pointed towards the person, and the youngest had frozen on spot. “Oh Lord, what if it is one of them? What if they figured out where we are and are here to take us, or murder us? Oh my God…” Baekhyun had landed a grounding hand on Sehun’s shoulder, stopping him from hyperventilating. “Sehun, don’t be unreasonable. Look at the way he is sitting. What do you notice?” Sehun had not responded one bit, his widened eyes staring at the man in horror. “First of all, he is shaking, and it is the middle of the summer season. Also, he is in a position that screams that he has been injured, probably severely so. He is most likely harmless in that state.” Jongdae and Minseok had moved forward, approaching the man with careful steps, not having completely eliminated the prospect of a threat, as Sehun calmed down enough to look worriedly over at their two friends. Minseok had taken out his pocket knife, just as Jongdae grabbed the man’s shoulders to turn him around. Both their breaths had hitched at the ugly sight of what looked like a nasty knife wound in front of their eyes. “Baek, Sehun, get over here,” Jongdae had called out, his voice uncharacteristically unstable. “Oh God,” had been Baekhyun’s reaction, who had never been especially fond of blood. The man –who actually looked young enough to be considered a boy– was sweating. An expression of pure agony painted his features, and his hand was clutching at his stomach, yet not pressing at his wound, which was situated at his side. His whole body was tense, although his breathing was shallow. “Lord, what should we do with him?” Sehun had asked nobody in particular, his quick breaths betraying his panic. “Alright,” Minseok had spoken not too long after, taking a deep breath to calm his own nerves. “Dae, press at his wound. We need to stop –or at least slow– the bleeding. Sehun, go fetch some water from inside.” Baekhyun had always admired Minseok. That was no secret to anyone. As he often liked to point out, what was there not to admire? Minseok was gentle and caring, yet cunning and devious when he wanted to be. He had been the one that had found the exhausted, seventeen year-old Baekhyun who had wandered the streets alone for months, struggling to survive since Jongdae’s father had gotten a job sponsored by the royals and the Kims had been forced to kick him out after sheltering him for years. Baekhyun had been desperate; for someone to care, for his life to stop being shitty, for some mere company. Minseok had answered all of those. He had taken him in, helped him, protected him, befriended him. He was a hero, in Baekhyun’s mind. The point was that Baekhyun had always borderline worshipped Minseok. And yet, that night, as he witnessed Minseok pushing away his fears and worries to tend to a complete stranger, maintaining a clinical and unemotional professionalism as he gave orders and ultimately managed to save someone’s life, Baekhyun had felt that Minseok was more than he had ever even imagined. Baekhyun had been teased non-stop later, when he voiced out these thoughts to Jongdae, but for the first time he had willingly –although grudgingly– admitted that he was harboring some kind of infatuation with their oldest friend. He had not known back then, but saying it out loud had helped him to get over it completely, levelling his crush to mere admiration. Anyhow, later, when the stranger had recovered enough to wake up and talk to them, they had learnt that he was a member of the Rebellion despite his young age, and that he had been involved in some kind of conflict when he and a bunch of rebels had gone against some armed guards. They had also learnt that his name was Kim Jongin. “I’ve been alright, I guess.” Jongin shrugs. “When I got back to the Rebellion I almost immediately got assigned to join the Military and infiltrate as an agent into the Palace.” “Do you ever regret…” Baekhyun licks his lips nervously, unsure of whether asking is a good idea. “Do you ever regret leaving us?” “Being part of this movement was my dream since I was a teenager.” He hesitates. “I had never once doubted my allegiance to the Rebels, and I never once regretted joining them, even if it meant I had to put my life on the line. And yet… those few months I stayed with you were the best time of my life, probably. Leaving was hard, and sometimes I wish I never had.” Baekhyun smiles sadly, before his mind starts yelling at him to get a grip and return to the present. “I’m glad you kept in touch.” “I missed you, you know. All four of you.” “Well, your absence was noticeable, for what it’s worth,” Baekhyun says lightly. “There was no one left to argue with Sehun all the time. Or to wake us up in the middle of the night due to their grumbling stomach. Or to yell at Jongdae and I when we annoyed you too much.” “Those were the times…” Jongin’s wistful look turns into a frown. “Anyway, let’s talk about the more important stuff,” he continues, suddenly so serious Baekhyun has a hard time believing this is the same kid that almost got a heart attack when Jongdae creeped up on him. “Can we be sure they are even alive?” asks Baekhyun, heart pounding as the question he has been too afraid to even seriously consider comes to the surface. “They must be. Otherwise they would have been executed in the previous weeks.” Baekhyun can see the determination in Jongin’s eyes, the conviction in the way he presses his lips together, and the fear he is trying to hide. “Apparently, there are numerous holding cells, not only in the whole of Winterlake, but in the Palace itself.” “They could be kept somewhere outside Belland?” This was a possibility he had not even considered. How could he ever get to them if they were outside the borders of the City? He didn’t have the ways to travel. “Sensibly, they must have been kept inside the city, but we cannot be certain either,” Jongin replies thoughtfully. “They could have been transferred as far as to the Sunken Prison in Snowcourt, which is usually used for interrogations and torture. It all depends on the guards that caught them.” Baekhyun tries to process the information. “We’re going to have to put our hopes into the possibility they’re being kept here. But I don’t know where to search, what to even search for.” “Is there any way you could ask around for information? Anyone you know that works in the stables with you? I don’t know… a high ranking officer, or someone who has spent a lot of time in the castle.” He starts crafting a plan in his mind, inspired by Jongin’s words. It could work to his benefit… if he only dared to do it. “There is one person I could talk to. He often visits the stables… I’ll try.” “Okay, you do that, and I will try to find out more about the prisoners in the Palace. But, Baekhyun, once we find them, breaking them out will not be easy. We will probably need to run away as soon as possible. I don’t know if we will be able to return.” “I’m prepared for that,” Baekhyun replies, determined. “Now, what do we know about the cells in the Palace?” he asks, trying to keep his worry at bay. “There are at least two prisons inside the castle, and there must be one more in Highcourt. I haven’t been able to learn much yet, because the info is confidential, however, if my application to be on prison guard duty is processed, I’ll have access to much more information.” “Alright,” Baekhyun lets out a shaky breath, “and you are sure this doesn’t pose problems with you? I mean, getting a transfer and snooping around? I don’t want to drag you too deep into this mess.” “I’ve been as discreet and careful as I could be. Don’t worry about me, hyung.” Jongin’s smile is radiant. “Besides, I want to help, you know?” “Well, I’m glad I am not alone in this.” He offers a smile. *** Lu Han sighs tiredly as he guides his horse into its stall, patting its neck softly and running his other hand through its forelock. As he closes the entrance of the stall behind them, he grabs the brush, and begins to work diligently with the horse’s mane. There’s soft humming coming from down the corridor; of tunes he has not heard in ages, since he was a small child and the woman that took care of him lulled him to sleep. He takes a peek outside, as if enchanted by some spell, and finds Baekhyun securing a stall closed, singing the familiar melody absent-mindedly. When he turns, their gazes lock, but Baekhyun does not look surprised; and he does not run away as he has been doing the past few days. It was peculiar: every time they crossed paths, the other was quick to murmur some excuse to avoid him. Every time Lu Han caught him looking he would turn away hurriedly. It puzzled him infinitely. “Your Majesty.” Baekhyun bows, and Lu Han hates it. “Hi,” he says simply, not really in the mood for any interaction besides with his beloved stallion. He turns his back on the boy across him, and redirects his full attention to the animal in front of him. He can feel the other’s gaze on his back, and it renders the situation considerably uncomfortable, however Lu Han really does not want to turn around and face him. Is it such a sin to want a moment alone? Besides, Baekhyun was the one who so obviously did not want to be associated with him. Lu Han often wonders why. Is it because of the intimidating status? His overly outgoing personality? He has spent his nights tossing and turning, creating a likeable persona to charm everyone; it is his deed as a prince to be charismatic and amiable, his mother always taught him. So where is the problem? Baekhyun does not leave. Lu Han does not know what exactly he is doing, but he can hear his footsteps, and feel his presence. “Are you done avoiding me like the plague?” he asks, and regrets it immediately. That is not the way he talks to people he barely knows. He is supposed to be good-natured and appealing. “Excuse me?” Baekhyun sounds offended. Lu Han turns around slowly, and desperately searches for something appropriate to say. “I thought you were avoiding me these past few days. Was it all in my imagination?” he finishes by saying challengingly. He exits his horse’s stall and moves to leave the saddle in the small warehouse next to the main building. “I might have been,” Baekhyun replies vaguely. “Why? Do I owe the glorious Prince my full attention?” Lu Han feels his eyes widen. What can he respond to this? He doesn’t want anyone to believe he throws his weight around to convince people to do what he wants them to do. “I was just joking,” Baekhyun reassures him, his eyes crinkling from his wide smile. “Not funny when you’re on the other side of the joke, right?” Lu Han stares at him blankly, clearly unimpressed. “Anyway,” he drags out the word, “how are things going? Better than your first day, I hope.” Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s not so bad. I’m getting used to the job, I’ve met a few people…” He seems to hesitate. “I am having a bit of a hard time navigating through the castle –what do you do with all this space anyway?– but otherwise, everything’s good.” “The castle is quite large, it’s true. God knows how many times I got lost when I was a curious child, eager to investigate.” He smiles wistfully. “You’ll get used to it. Didn’t someone already show you around?” “A friend described where all the important locations are, but I keep getting lost.” Baekhyun sits down on the stone steps in front of the building’s entrance. “The other day, I was planning on going to the kitchens, and I ended up wandering around for so long I almost missed the curfew.” Lu Han sits next to him. “I could ask someone to be your guide. Tao would probably be up for it.” Baekhyun turns to look at him, surprised. The sun catches his eyes in a breath-taking kind of way, and Lu Han looks away, unsure of what to make of this. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose. I’m sure he has much more important things to do…” “Trust me, he would do anything to escape the job for a little while,” Lu Han replies truthfully. “How about you show me around the castle instead?” Baekhyun asks, and Lu Han can see his pupils dilating, making him conclude that this was not what he had in mind when he opened his mouth. “I mean… of course not you. If your bodyguard is busy, I cannot even imagine what the life of a prince must be like.” “There are not that many things to do, when I think about it,” Lu Han answers lightly. “I could show you the basics today, if you want. I happen to have the afternoon free today. I take it you’re done with work?” Lu Han doesn’t stop to wonder what he is doing. Being impulsive was always categorized as one of his biggest flaws; a deadly one when he is supposed to be a diplomat and a ruler. His parents had always warned him not to get friendly with the servants, even if Lu Han usually disobeyed them. He always felt that talking with them gave him an insight to the struggles of the people, and, most importantly, what they needed, what they were not satisfied with. How could he become a good ruler one day if he didn’t know what his people demanded, what the kingdom lacked, what their lives resembled? Ever since his teenage years, when he started taking politics more seriously, reading more about the responsibilities of the royals towards the people, he had the idea that what left the residents of the country so unsatisfied with his father’s ruling, was the lack of communication between the King and his subjects. Obviously, his one and only attempt at pointing this out to his father had ended pretty badly, with him running to Yifan and Yixing for comfort after a pretty humiliating and painful lecture, but that only set his determination to be a fair and good ruler himself. Ever since, he has earnestly attempted to approach some servants of the castle, although most of his efforts were futile. Those who weren’t intimidated by his status wanted to use him for a better placement in their jobs. Those who weren’t too hostile towards the ensemble of the royal family drove themselves on flattery. It had been an infuriating process, and Lu Han had given up in the past years, which made Baekhyun one of the scarce exceptions, and he did not even know who he was when they first met. “So, is it true that you don’t have much to do?” Baekhyun asks as they walk down the court, towards the Tall Tower, the building that contained almost all of the public spaces. “I would have expected the Prince to be much busier.” Lu Han is not sure if he’s misreading the other’s emotions, but his words almost sound accusatory. “I usually have meetings to attend to,” he picks his words carefully, coming to realize that Baekhyun must in the end have something against the royalty as well, “and other things to take care of with the King and Queen. There are some periods of time when things are hectic, but currently there really isn’t much to do.” Baekhyun sends him a quizzical look. “Really? That is quite the surprise, actually. Where I lived, before I came to the Palace, things were always… let’s just say intense.” “How so?” Lu Han looks baffled. Last time he was informed about the situation outside the castle, things were peaceful; not many rebellious outbursts, and, quoting Councilor Liwei himself, ‘it looks like people are settling with your reign, your Grace.’ These were his exact words, he could have sworn it. “Well, for one, the number of guards patrolling the roads is disgustingly high,” Baekhyun starts, then seems to realize who he is talking to, and stops, looking scandalized at his own words. “Please, do go on,” Lu Han prompts him, genuinely interested. “Uhh,” Baekhyun is still unwilling. Then seems to make up his mind. “Well, there is also a surprisingly high number of homeless men, women and children living in the streets, who all obviously don’t have enough to live with, and thus resort to stealing in order to live, which results to property damage, and a violent interference from the guards, most of the time. When they do refuse to get involved, there are bloodbaths between those who have been wronged and those who did not have an alternative to begin with.” Lu Han would be willing to bet that Baekhyun has experienced these things first-hand, and he wishes he could identify all the memories he can see clouding his eyes. “I…” Situations like these are so foreign to him; he doesn’t know what an appropriate reaction would be like. “You walk down the main street of the poorest neighborhoods and find children fatally injured, old women starving to death, men throwing their pride away to beg for something to live on… Does this seem fair to you?” Baekhyun’s anger is evident. Lu Han doesn’t think it is directed at him, but he still feels bad. He’s never lived under such conditions before. He doesn’t know what it is like. Baekhyun seems to realize that they have stopped in the middle of a corridor, and even though there are not many people around, he motions for him to move forward again. “Let’s not talk about this. These are all in my past. If you’re truly curious about what is going on outside this pretty palace, you should just go out for a walk out of the castle walls. You’ll probably be surprised.” Lu Han feels numb. How can he not be informed on stuff like these? Even worse, how could he be given false information, and by the people who were supposed to be helping him, no less? Those were the important matters. Baekhyun proposes they continue with their tour as planned, leaving out the touchy subject, and Lu Han agrees. He will have the chance to dwell on these matters later. “Alright then,” he says, having a hard time moving past all he has just learnt. “Right on your left, there are the kitchens,” he nods towards the general direction. “They usually let everyone in, so you can access with no particular difficulty.” “Do many people work there?” Baekhyun frowns at the commotion in front of the doors. “It must be the station with the most staff members,” he answers. “So yes.” They climb a flight of stairs together, and Lu Han feels self-conscious, which is absolutely ridiculous, considering the fact that he is showing the public spaces, and not his chambers, or anything of that sort. He is also suddenly much more aware of all the guards placed throughout the Palace grounds, and cannot help but wonder how the servants feel about them. If they’ve lived outside, and experienced all those injustices Baekhyun mentioned earlier, how can they not feel threatened by their persistent presence? “This floor consists of the hospital wing, this way,” he says, pointing towards their left. “And the rooms of the medics, along with a few rooms used for storage, on this side.” Baekhyun nods carefully, memorizing the little passageways across the Tower diligently. Finally, they are reaching the top floor of the building. “And this is the library, here. It takes up the whole floor, and there is a wide variety of books to choose from. There is an exclusive one for the royal family, but it is in our building, and only those with a pass can use it.” “What does each of the Four Towers consist of?” Baekhyun answers, before quickly adding: “I already know that there is one purely used by your family, and this one for the public spaces… and the one the servants reside in, obviously. I haven’t heard anything about the Fourth Tower, however.” Faced with his expectant look, Lu Han only offers him a lopsided grin. “The Fourth is the mystery of the castle,” he says, dead serious. Baekhyun looks so confused that Lu Han cracks up, in the end. “Nah, I was kidding. The Fourth consists mostly of meeting rooms, and offices, as well as a ball room. Nothing extremely fascinating.” Baekhyun looks slightly disappointed at this. “Alright, then, what about the rest of the space here? There are so many areas I don’t know about! What about all the rooms between the Towers? And all the basements?” he asks. “Wait; is it true that there are dungeons inside the castle?” Lu Han raises an eyebrow at the question. Not everyone thinks to ask about dungeons, of all things. “Why do you ask?” he inquires suspiciously. He falters for a second, seeming alarmed. “Out of curiosity, mostly. I’ve always heard about the frighteningly eerie Sunken Prison in my bedtime stories. I think it ruined my image of Snowcourt, you know? Scarred me forever,” Baekhyun is rambling at this point, and Lu Han stops himself from wondering what has gotten into his younger companion. “Well, there are obviously dungeons in the castle,” Lu Han says, choosing his words carefully as to not reveal too much information. Not only were their locations extremely confidential, but this sudden interest of Baekhyun’s about prisons, of all things, is weird, to say the least. “Not the most pleasant areas, to be honest.” He shivers at the memories of his visits there. Indeed, it is an extremely unpleasant place to visit. He can still hear the chilling screams or feel the cold seeping into his bones, if he focuses hard enough. He tries to shake the eerie and sour memories away, but Baekhyun has already caught up on his abrupt discomfort. Before he has the chance to say anything, Lu Han speaks out. “I think we should head back. Since you regretfully have a curfew, and the sun is already setting.” His teasing grin is met with a disapproving glare, before they both burst out laughing. As they walk back, occasionally exchanging a joke or two, Lu Han wonders whether Baekhyun will start ignoring him again the next day, or if this unstable sort of friendship they started building will lead somewhere. He wonders if he could deal with one more dead-end in his life. *** Sometimes, when Baekhyun is left alone with his thoughts at night, he starts regretting. Not about being a cowardly little kid and hiding away as his parents were being murdered. Not even about the fact that he let his friends sacrifice themselves so he could get away. No, in light of recent events, his usual regret is Lu Han. It all started innocently enough, he figures. Inspired by his conversation with Jongin, he had decided that having the prince so close to him every day and not trying to use that to his advantage would be a damn waste. He had the opportunity, why not seize it? Why should he feel bad towards the son of a man who had ruined hundreds of people’s lives –including his own– to satisfy his materialistic tendency and obsession with power? Why should he feel bad towards someone who had been born privileged, who had everything anyone could ask for within reach while others suffered? Lu Han is infuriatingly hard to hate, that is the problem, and Baekhyun does not know how to handle that. He catches himself enjoying the time they spend talking more and more, because Lu Han is simply good company. He always listens carefully when Baekhyun has something to say, and yet he always fills the silence when Baekhyun is feeling out of it. Maybe in some other universe the two of them could have been best friends, he thinks on those nights, regretfully; and yet here they are, stuck in this world where every time Baekhyun looks at his handsome features, somewhere in the back of his mind warning bells sound, reminding him of all the tragedies in his life Lu Han can be associated with. It isn’t that he feels bad about snooping around or fishing for information. After all, it is not like he is planning on using it against the prince per se; he is not planning an invasion in the Palace, is not leading an assassination attempt towards the royal family, he is not even part of the Rebellion. The reason why he feels bad, is because Lu Han truly regards him as a friend. Maybe not his closest one, but Baekhyun considers Lu Han to be the type of guy to be open with the people he wants to get close to, and they have spent a lot of time together. Lu Han is always so nice to him it is hard not to feel bad about the secrets he is keeping from him. Instead of feeling victorious, like he should, when he gets one step closer to his friends, he feels dirty, like the worst scum on earth. He is growing sick of it. * “Hey, Baek,” Chanyeol says one day as they casually walk towards the kitchens. He waits for Baekhyun to hum in response. “Did you hear about the ball next week?” “Yes, I did. I’ll apparently have to tend to the horses of all the royals who will travel to come.” He makes a face. “I hate horses with a burning passion by now, you know.” “Oh, it’s just because you have never worked before,” Chanyeol says dismissingly. “Kyungsoo, the newest cook, says he is starting to despise food.” Chanyeol shows his incredulity with an exaggerated face. “I say you’re both being overly dramatic, and sensitive.” “What is there to like about horses anyway?” Baekhyun says grumpily, thinking of all the days he’s spent cleaning their damn stables and the horses themselves. “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never ridden one.” “Now that would be a sight,” Baekhyun mocks, cackling at the image of the personified clumsiness that is Chanyeol riding a horse with his awkwardly long limbs. “Your new friend Lu Han could enlighten you about what there is to like about horses,” Chanyeol says, smirking. “Now, watching him ride a horse: that is a sight to behold.” At his suggestive wink, Baekhyun’s cheeks redden, and he wishes he could say that he hadn’t already thought about how great Lu Han looked on a horse. “I still cannot believe you managed to befriend the fucking Prince,” Chanyeol continues to ramble. “Anyway, what did you want to say about the ball?” Baekhyun swiftly changes the subject, all the talk about Lu Han rendering him uncomfortable. “Oh, right.” Chanyeol exclaims, and checks if anyone is listening to them. “Jongin would like to meet you,” he continues in low tones. “He says since everyone –both staff and royal– will be preoccupied with the feast, you two will have some time to talk unbothered.” “Did he find anything?” asks Baekhyun, with an intensely hopeful gaze. “I’m not sure… I didn’t talk to him for long,” Chanyeol says apologetically. Baekhyun tries to mask his disappointment as efficiently as he can, before reminding himself that this doesn’t necessarily mean that Jongin doesn’t have those exceptionally good news Baekhyun aspires to hear. “Alright then… I’ll see him at the ball.” *** “I simply cannot believe he decided to show up today, of all days,” Lu Han complains quietly at his companion, burning holes at the back of a dashing young man’s head across the room. “Well, it is a diplomatic event,” Yixing tries to reason with him. “It was only to be expected that he would attend, as such an important Councilor to one of the countries supposed to sign the renewed peace treaty. Missing it would be regarded as a rude and idiotic move; it would offend the King.” “So you don’t think the fact that he came here solely because of some event he was required to attend is cruel? He has not seen us in ages!” Lu Han says in hushed tones, smiling to the occasional stranger that looks his way, immediately easing his dissatisfied frown as to not scare their guests away. “Don’t let the emotional connection cloud your judgement, Lu,” Yixing says, glancing at him with concern. “I know you guys didn’t leave off things in the best of ways, however I would advise you not to be bitter about it now. It has been a long time.” “What did I miss?” Tao suddenly appears next to them, balancing three glasses of wine in his hands. At that exact moment, Yifan chooses to turn around. Lu Han’s eyes widen, before he gains control over his facial features again and manages a stiff smile. “Turn around, turn around,” he hisses at his friends between gritted teeth. Tao throws them a lost and startled look, not having noticed their old friend, and Yixing tries to wordlessly describe the situation to him, using exaggerated faces which look extremely out of place at the fancy event full of politicians with very controlled expressions. Lu Han chooses to roll his eyes in exasperation. When the other two finally get the hint and turn their backs to a highly amused Yifan, Lu Han’s forced smile slowly degrades to a murderous glare he sends his two supposed best friends. “Smooth, guys… real smooth.” * Halfway through the night, Lu Han lets the fact that the ball will be as catastrophic as he had imagined it to be, sink in. He actually wishes Yifan had anything to do with it. At the beginning, it was manageable. Of course, only having to interact and socialize with so many rich and stuck-up diplomats is quite the hassle, especially when he is requested to greet the royal families from nearby kingdoms by his father’s side. Be that as it may, he can deal with it. Yet, Lu Han finds the constant strained atmosphere overwhelming, even if he wouldn’t have expected anything less from such an unprecedented event. It truly is unheard of: for all the rulers and important figures of the Lands of the Mist to gather in one place. To his dismay and embarrassment, Lu Han does not even know how this agreement between them managed to satisfy all four kingdoms. His father had left him out of this once again, he realized as he spoke to Prince Dai of Silvervale. According to him, there had been tough negotiations that led to the ultimate agreement, which Lu Han was too uncomfortable to admit he knew nothing about. It simply doesn’t make sense. How could such an agreement manage to work, when all these years Winterlake’s relationship with the rest of the Lands has been nearly hostile? Lu Han had thought that his father had ruined with his reckless actions over the years every chance they had to establish such an agreement. There is no denying it anymore, Lu Han concludes. Not only does his father clearly not trust him, but he must also not believe he would make a decent ruler. The thought had been tormenting him for a long time, and, as much as he has tried to push it at the very back of his head, it is now more than evident; his father doesn’t see him as a worthy heir of such great responsibility. It never mattered to him after all… how avidly Lu Han had been studying on politics, how eager he was to learn more in order to ensure the future of a kingdom he held deep in his heart, how earnestly he had tried to be the person he was supposed to be. Lu Han had always been paying attention to the gossip around the castle, no matter how much he tried to keep himself from it to save himself the pain. He knew it was unnatural that he was not crowned when he reached his nineteenth year since birth. Yet he thought that’s okay, father only wants to give me some time to become more competent. As the years passed, he fed himself more excuses, each year more improbable than the last. Maybe he just does not deserve the crown. Good will alone cannot be sufficient to fix a kingdom as damaged as Winterlake: everyone knows this. He has no real skill, no flair for diplomacy, no experience of being a leader. He just wishes he had realized this sooner. (And that it hurt less.) “Sorry,” he mumbles, barely looking up from the floor as he bumps into someone. Tao behind him clears his throat warningly, which is enough to attract his attention and make him lift his head to meet a pair of brown eyes. He ignores how, but his breath is still caught in his throat, even after two years of cursing the damn dashing man. “Yifan.” “Hey, Lu Han,” It is awkward, and the blissfully in love Lu Han from three years ago would laugh at the strangeness of the encounter. “It has been a long time.” Lu Han resists the urge to run away; he will not throw his pride away for this man ever again. “Indeed, indeed. Nearly two years, hasn’t it? How have you been, Yifan?” he asks, trying to sound indifferent as he motions for Yifan to walk with him through the crowded room, ignoring Tao’s incredulous look when he signals for him to give them a moment alone. Yifan seems surprised himself, but goes along with it. “I have been well. You have probably already heard, but I have managed to reach the position I was after.” His momentary hesitation is of little comfort to Lu Han, who remembers the day Yifan left him as if it were yesterday. “Supreme Councilor of Glassport, was it?” Lu Han comments, avoiding the other’s intent gaze. “I am glad that you…” he drifts off, “managed to reach your goals and make this dream of yours come true.” “Thank you,” Yifan says. “I’ve been… happy, these years.” Lu Han presses his lips together, forces himself not to feel hurt one bit, pushes back the bitter words he is dying to voice out. The past is in the past. “That’s good to hear.” “I’ve been happy,” Yifan struggles to find the words, “but it has not been the same without you. I cannot say I regret leaving to pursue something I am truly passionate about, in a place more suitable for me to live in than this very castle… but I really do wish sometimes… that you were by my side.” How easy this seems to be for him to say. He had the chance to live his life the way he always wanted to, blaming him for the end of their relationship as Lu Han was trapped in a life he did not choose: unable to follow his lover, or selfishly ask of him to stay behind with him. Yifan must have enjoyed the distance he had requested before he left; and here he is now, showing his face after two years of no contact, ready to claim him back. “You know where I stand,” Lu Han starts, expression hardening. “You asked me to wait for you just before you left Belland. I told you this two years ago, and I’ll say it again tonight, for both our sakes. I am not… I am never going to settle for being anyone’s second choice.” He swallows, ignoring Yifan’s crestfallen look. “You chose your path, and I respected that, wanting for you a better life than staying trapped inside a lifeless castle, like me. But I’ll never forgive the fact that you blamed me for the inevitable end of this relationship, when the only choice you left me with was to wait for you for God knows how long, going as far as to say the distance would give us the chance to think about our future.” Lu Han regrets getting emotional over this, again. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand angrily, praying nobody has been paying attention to them. “I’m sorry, Lu. I know I was wrong… but I cannot help the fact that I am still in love with you. I wish I could make it right…” “No, you know what? You don’t get the right to waltz into my life again after two long years of silence and say shit like that you never stopped loving me. If you ever did love me, you would have never left me here; helpless, feeling guilty about choosing myself first for once, blaming myself for both your unhappiness and mine.” With that, he turns around and walks away, already knowing that Yifan would never follow him and create a scene in such an environment. He knows these words were necessary. He is happy he finally gets a closure which allows him to express what Yifan made him go through. He is even proud of himself for managing to say everything he’d been too much of a coward to voice out ever since he realized he was not the one to blame for this dead-end that became of their relationship. Yet, it feels like an old wound has been reopened, one he had hoped would have healed by now. He hates that he still lets Yifan have that effect on him. *** Baekhyun’s first thought when he enters the Fourth Tower is that he and Lu Han should have a serious talk about what is considered fascinating, and what not. When Lu Han had described the Tower to him, Baekhyun had expected a simple but majestic building, filled with indistinguishable rooms, and a dull, heavily-decorated ball room. When he walks in, he literally gapes, and that alone should say a lot, since he has supposedly gotten used to the rest of the castle’s appearance. The majestically high ceilings combined with the ornate décor make him want to stop walking and observe the elaborate and colorful motifs on the walls. He resists the temptation, of course. The whole tower is filled with guards, and he’s supposed to be there with a purpose. Therefore, he strides confidently deeper inside, smiling pleasantly at a few guards he has come to recognize after residing at the Palace for so long. He tries to recall Chanyeol’s instructions precisely in his head, all the while attempting to look purposeful, and not like he is lost. He knows he is walking towards the right direction when the number of guards decreases considerably, and after walking a bit further, he is alone. It doesn’t take him long to find the characteristic mermaid statue Chanyeol described to him, placed right outside the door he is supposed to be meeting Jongin. He enters swiftly, only after double checking to make sure he is utterly alone. “Hey,” he greets the waiting figure as soon as he enters. “I came the fastest I could. Most royals travelled with horses, so I had my hands full.” “Nah, it’s okay,” Jongin reassures him. “The event is far from over anyway, and I’m glad I have something to do other than observe a bunch of rich people interact.” “I wonder why,” he replies sarcastically. “Must be a fascinating job.” “Perhaps it ties with tending to strangers’ thirsty, hungry and filthy stallions.” “Good point,” he says, looking at his hands, slightly calloused from all the work done in one night, dirt stuck under his fingernails, a few spots aching from minor injuries. He grimaces in disgust. “In any case, I do not want to keep you here for long; after all, you never know when something might go wrong.” That sends chills down Baekhyun’s spine. He has not properly thought of all the risks they are taking, snooping around the palace. “I think they are being kept here, in the Palace,” Jongin says, a rare glint in his eyes. “I managed to take a peek at some records of prisoner transfers, and there was nothing on them, which forcibly means they are here.” Baekhyun sighs in relief. “That’s good… that’s perfect.” “Well, there’s still the question of where the dungeons are situated, and how many different locations for prisoner cells there are.” Baekhyun recollects all he has been able to learn the past weeks since their last meeting. “There’s only one thing I managed to get some workers at the kitchens to spill. It’s a name, of one of the dungeons: the Onyx Cells.” He lets it hang in the air, and only hearing aloud again makes it extra ominous. “Apparently, that’s where special prisoners are kept. I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean… Anyway, rumor has it that the Cells are currently empty, so this is probably not where we’ll find them.” “The Onyx Cells,” Jongin tests the words in his mouth. “Doesn’t sound very bright.” “You know, Jongin, I’ve been thinking.” Baekhyun starts hesitantly. “What if one of them is inside the royal wing?” Jongin frowns. “It won’t be easy to get there, that alone is for sure. There is an impossible number of guards placed all throughout the wing.” They share a glance, full of mixed emotions; hope and reservation, dread and excitement. “Which would make it the perfect place, actually.” “It would be difficult, but it is a start, right?” Then, “The two, or more, set of dungeons are probably located in completely different parts of the castle, right?” He waits for Jongin to nod affirmatively before continuing. “Which would mean that the other prison is in a place completely opposite to the royals’ wing.” “Probably, although I doubt they’d place a prison in the servants’ tower. The real question is: which prisoners are placed in what location?” Jongin asks, thoughtful. “It could work both ways; we cannot really know. Special prisoners could mean more-heavily guarded, but it could also mean that they’ve been placed in the less obvious location, so they would be found with more effort.” “I will ask around about the Onyx Cells; there must be something that I’ll be able to find out,” Jongin says, determination carved in his expression. “We should both be careful not to raise suspicions with our questions… and make sure not to ask the wrong people.” Baekhyun is ready to respond, before he hears footsteps echoing from where he’s standing near the door. “Somebody’s coming,” he whispers urgently, heart speeding up in a frantic rhythm. His mind unhelpfully provides him with information such as how dumb it was for him to stand near the door, and how unprepared he was for not having planned any escape routes. He is certain the Baekhyun he was before he moved in the castle would be ashamed of him, after all the practice he’s had. Jongin motions hurriedly for him to move, and Baekhyun is just about to join him hiding away on the balcony when the door bursts open abruptly. Baekhyun is so shocked by the loud crash that resonates through the room, and he doesn’t even react at first. Then, he takes it all in. First comes the horrifying realization that he has been caught. Then, all the rest. He looks at the newcomer, and is surprised to find Lu Han, with his eyes looking oddly red, staring at him in surprise. “Baekhyun?” he asks, incredulous. He frowns, and Baekhyun knows him enough to know he is devilishly intelligent; it won’t be long before he snaps out of his daze and accuses him of spying and wandering in clearly forbidden areas. “Hi,” Baekhyun manages weakly, the stress and helplessness making him feel dizzy. “Are you okay?” he asks instead, and only when the words have left his mouth he realizes that he truly is curious about the answer. “What…” Lu Han trails off, looks at their surroundings, then back at him, completely lost. It won’t be long now… “What the fuck are you doing here?” Baekhyun doesn’t know what to reply to that, because there is no response that would sound convincing; not to Lu Han. He struggles to find something to say, because his silence only makes him look guiltier. “Were you sneaking around?” he asks, his voice a broken whisper. “Of course you were…” he mutters, closing his eyes tightly. Baekhyun can see the gears in his brain working furiously. “That’s what the tour was about…” he stops, looks at him as if seeing him for the first time. “And that sudden interest about the dungeons. And all the times you approached me after that.” With every word, his voice gets a little louder; his stupefaction slowly turning into fury. It is a strange sight. Seeing a man experience betrayal the exact moment it happens. Baekhyun watched the expressions on his face change from confusion, to realization, to hurt, to anger. He never thought a day would come when he would actually see Lu Han, the boyish man with the face of an angel and the devilish smirk, get angry. The scowl on his face seems completely out of place. If Baekhyun didn’t know any better, he would expect Lu Han to suddenly break into an effortless grin, tease him about falling for his joke. “Lu Han,” Baekhyun finally says, barely able to look into his eyes. “I can explain. I swear.” No mercy appears on the suddenly unfamiliar face in front of him. “Explain what, exactly? You are a Rebel.” “No!” Baekhyun exclaims, face white, before retaining his calm and swallowing. “I am no Rebel. It is true that I was…” he stutters, “looking for the dungeons, and snooping for information, but I am no Rebel.” He has to be honest. There is no other way for Lu Han to believe him. “Then what?” Lu Han asks dryly, but the hints of hesitation in his eyes give Baekhyun hope. “Three friends of mine got arrested before I came to the Palace,” he says, “and I came to work here in hopes of managing to break them free. I know that is still breaking the law, but I meant no harm. Really.” Lu Han’s earlier certainty is gone, and Baekhyun is relieved to see the hard lines on his face ease a bit. “I don’t know whether I should believe you or not,” he declares, lost. “Trust me, Lu Han,” Baekhyun says softly. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” The frustration is clear on the prince’s face. “And what do you expect me to do now? Let you go like this, knowing what you’re here to do? I cannot let you go. I cannot even know you’re not lying to me right at this moment.” Baekhyun licks his lips nervously. “This is not fair,” he murmurs to himself, and Lu Han throws him a flabbergasted look. “You think I would be here if I had any other choice? You think I would risk my life like this if these people were not important to me?” “Do you expect me to turn a blind eye to this? You know I cannot! I am the future ruler of this kingdom, and I morally cannot let this slide,” Lu Han speaks angrily and something snaps in Baekhyun. “A great kingdom, isn’t it?” he responds, in a spiteful way that surprises Lu Han. “A kingdom that lets its people starve in the streets, with rulers that only care about their fortunes. Is that what kind of ruler you aspire to be, Lu Han? The kind that orders guards to burn houses down to the ground? The kind that condemns orphans to a life of crime? That dooms the poor to eternal misery?” Lu Han looks like he has been slapped. “You think…” Lu Han trails off, and Baekhyun can see the intensified hurt in his eyes. “You really think that is the kind of king I would make?” Deep down, Baekhyun knows that it’s not true, that Lu Han could in fact be the change this rotten kingdom desperately needs. But in the spur of the moment, with his head’s inner voice screaming at him about what living in Shadowcrest truly means, how much its residents suffer, all he does is sneer heartlessly at the young and vulnerable prince in front of him. “I don’t know, Lu Han. You tell me.” Another person barges in, making both Lu Han and Baekhyun jump. “Your Majesty,” the man, dressed in full guard uniform, says. “I have been searching for you.” Lu Han sighs tiredly, as if remembering something bothersome. “What happened, Junmyeon?” “Your father…” the man –Junmyeon– starts before noticing Baekhyun’s presence in the room and stopping himself. “Who is this?” he asks with a frown, staring at him to the point it makes Baekhyun uncomfortable. Lu Han searches for something appropriate to say, but fails to reply. “Hey, you aren’t supposed to be here!” Junmyeon exclaims incredulously. “I cannot believe this,” he mumbles to himself. “Your Majesty, he is an outlaw! I’ve seen him in the streets before! A thief inside the Palace walls,” he whispers to himself, horrified. “Your Majesty, where is your bodyguard?” Baekhyun wants to roll his eyes at the man’s panicked yet obvious observations, but he figures defending himself is more important. “I wasn’t…” he starts, and is interrupted by the frantic man who starts yelling loudly: “Guards! Guards! I need backup!” Baekhyun’s eyes widen. Was it really going to end like this? He looks to Lu Han for help, but the prince seems to be as hopeless as him. After all, there is nothing they can say to excuse Baekhyun’s presence in a heavily forbidden area, especially when he has been recognized. The question is, why did Lu Han seem to be displeased at this turn of events? He was going to arrest him anyway. Wasn’t he? The guards run inside the room rowdily, swords drawn, ready to fight. As soon as they enter, they glance around the room for an apparent threat, yet find none. “This man should not be here!” Junmyeon screeches, pointing to him. “Your Majesty?” one of the guards asks, looking for confirmation at Junmyeon’s words. Lu Han nods, his jaw stiff as he does so. “Hey, wait!” Baekhyun objects as the guards move forward and grab an arm each. “No, you cannot do this!” he says, and glances pleadingly back at Lu Han, who immediately looks away when he catches his eye. He lets himself be dragged out of the Tower through some backdoor, and doesn’t react as the guards tie a blindfold around his head. The next thing he knows, he is thrown carelessly on cold, hard flooring; his head hitting the wall painfully. When he finally manages to get rid of the tightly-knotted blindfold, the guards are long gone, leaving him alone in the bleak and dark cell. * Baekhyun wonders how much time has passed. It feels like an eternity, but the logical part of his brain that clings to sanity, reminds him persistently that it mustn’t have been that long. His cell has no windows, regrettably, which makes Baekhyun suppose it is underground. The only ray of light comes from the lone torch hung up the wall next to the doors, and although faint, Baekhyun uses it as a lifeline to stay sane. He’s always hated darkness. The entire cell is terribly humid, but Baekhyun grew used of it after the first hours he spent shivering. The peculiar thing is that he is utterly alone. The cell opposite of his is empty, as well at those next to him, and every single one in his line of sight. Not a sound can be heard, save for his own shallow breathing and his faint heartbeat. “The Onyx Cells,” he had whispered, testing his hoarse, unused voice. He might be losing his mind already, he had thought next, when the words started echoing, and he could have sworn they were different voices instead of his own. The reputation of the name is the only thing that creeps him out, he tries to convince himself; but the place itself is eerie. Sometimes he hears footsteps, or water dripping, but the sounds seem to be coming from the walls themselves. On other occasions, he hears chilling screams that resemble all too much those of his mother’s. It does not feel like reality, and he concludes that he must have been dreaming. * Baekhyun’s childhood is fuzzy in his memory. It is proof of the years that have gone by, and how with every detail that seems to fade, he takes a step forward, slowly leaving a part of him behind. It has been years since his parents’ deaths; it’s only to be expected that he wouldn’t be able to conjure their features or remember their voices. It has been so long… that period of misfortunes and misery seems like a mere page ripped from an ugly nightmare. Sometimes he hopes that the wind will take the surprisingly heavy page away, along with his burdens and whatever trauma was caused by witnessing his parents’ death. If he’s lucky, he thinks, the wind will take him away as well, away from the cursed city and its dead people; somewhere away from this mess that his life has become. In the beginning of his dream, the one he gets to visit and blissfully relive every once in a while, his father’s arms are wrapped tightly around Baekhyun’s small frame as he lifts him high in the air and the world spins and spins, the color of the sky above his head the grass underneath his father’s feet all blurring together in an intoxicating mix of prominent colors along with his father’s smiling features, rendering them unable to be identified, all except for the sparkling pair of black eyes that seem to be piercing through him. His mother’s beautifully melodic laughter echoes in the distance, the sound ringing over and over again in his ears. From the corner of his eye, he thinks he can see his brother, safely tucked in their mother’s embrace watching him intently with affection. In that second he feels invincible, as though he can get hold of the sun between his fingers, as if the whole universe could fit in his outstretched hands. He wishes the dream was a memory instead. Once he chooses to go down this twisted memory lane, it seems like there is no way back. His dreams are haunted by sometimes a stiff wardrobe, sometimes a snowy street or a pool of blood, sometimes a name, or a voice, or a face. He sees Jongdae, and all the times he snuck out to find him when Baekhyun had just been kicked out of the Kim family house. He sees Minseok and longs for the caring words of the older brother he should have had. He sees Sehun and wishes he was with him to comfort him. He even sees Jongin and Chanyeol, laughing at something together, and Baekhyun feels wistful for the giant that always managed to put a smile on his face, and Jongin, the person that has kept him sane all these weeks, as well as two years ago. He even sees Lu Han, now and then. He dreams of his laughing face and his feelings are mixed. Sometimes he feels regretful for lying to him, or he misses their talks and their jokes, and he comes to be comforted by his sweet smile, even if it is merely a vision –a memory– created by his mind. Some other times, instead of seeing Lu Han for what he really is, all he can look at is that small crown, inked on his collarbone, and then Lu Han takes the form of everything he holds the King accountable for. The anger consumes him, and the overwhelming feeling of injustice usually wakes him up, discovering that his nails have left angry red marks on his palms. This kind of solitude can really drive a man insane, he thinks at some point, hugging his knees close and staring at the light of the flame across the room. *** For some strange reason Lu Han cannot explain for the life of him, there is a peculiar nervousness building up in his stomach as he walks the familiar path down the Onyx Cells. He wonders if it is the prospect of seeing Baekhyun again as the friend who betrayed his trust, or as the unfamiliar criminal who spoke to him with a newfound harshness and cruelty. He barely acknowledges the guards set outside the doors with a curt nod, before they let him pass and his hesitant steps lead him in front of the only occupied cell. Lu Han can make out his figure, slumped against the wall, unmoving even as he arrives right in front of the cell door. “Baekhyun?” he calls hesitantly. The other’s head snaps up, and the look in his eyes is downright frightened, probably by being woken so suddenly. Lu Han takes it all in: the disheveled hair and the tiredness in his posture, the tortured eyes and the way they steel when they notice him. “Your Majesty,” he says lazily, sarcastically. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Even with his raspy voice and exhausted gaze, Lu Han can still see the spark in him, the one that made him seek out the younger boy’s presence over the course of the past weeks. It is a relief that his stay at the dungeon has not changed that. Lu Han sits down against the cell opposite of Baekhyun’s, and adopts a position similar to his, bringing one knee close and resting his head on it. He wants to sigh, and perhaps stay there another moment or two with his eyes closed, to catch his breath, and get away for just a little while. Too bad this is neither the place, nor the time. After the ball, things had been hectic. The royal families were all invited to rejoice in the hospitality of the Grand Palace, keeping the entire castle population on their toes, ready to attend to their guests’ needs. Lu Han himself had had to entertain their guests with long discussions and tours through the castle, no matter how out of it he had been feeling. As for Baekhyun’s case, Lu Han had personally asked his reluctant father to let him interrogate the criminal himself, claiming that he knew him better, and that he needed the responsibility to distract himself from everything. It had taken a few days, but Lu Han had finally found the time to pay a visit. Now, he did not know whether he should regret it or not. Seeing Baekhyun again leaves him conflicted. As much as his head is warning him to be cautious and suspicious, some part of him delved long ago that this nice, boyish side he saw of Baekhyun when they spent time together couldn’t have been completely made-up. “Is it true that you are a known outlaw in the streets of Belland, and that a month or two ago you escaped while under arrest?” Lu Han starts monotonously, barely looking at the man on the other side of the room. It pains him to think of Baekhyun that way; he selfishly wishes he had just stayed the beautiful boy from the stables, even if that meant they never got to learn his secret plans. “Yes,” Baekhyun admits, and Lu Han thinks he can hear frustration in his voice. “Did your guard mention that we were just rummaging for a slice of bread in order to survive the day? I’m sure petty details like these are always left out, aren’t they?” Lu Han hates that Baekhyun is right, he hates that he cannot prove him wrong, that he cannot even defend this system he’ll soon be the head of. What kind of kingdom is he going to rule when he cannot even defend it? “Details like these won’t make your actions any more legal,” Lu Han says, but even in his own ears, the words sound dull, like he himself f doesn’t believe in them. How can he be the judge of who is guilty when he doesn’t know the story behind the actions caught by the guards? “So it doesn’t matter to you? Why I did what I did?” Baekhyun asks him, expression vulnerable. Lu Han stutters to find a reply, but he is interrupted. “You know, maybe if you royals sometimes backed off a little bit to listen to what the people have to say, this kingdom wouldn’t be so fucked up right now. Is it that hard for any of you to just listen?” Something in Baekhyun’s voice gets to him, Lu Han figures. “What if I told you I was willing to listen?” he whispers, and he doesn’t even know how this began, but he looks at Baekhyun expectantly and realizes that he truly wants to hear what he has to say. “Because I am, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun’s head snaps up to him in surprise. “What?” he forces out. “Tell me, then. I…” Lu Han wants nothing less than to make himself vulnerable again. The betrayal is still too recent, too painful, but he needs to understand, he knows this now. And for Baekhyun to open up, he has to show that he’s being honest. “I want to understand you. And… I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about this kingdom, or its people. I don’t need one more person to remind me what a shitty ruler I would make.” Lu Han takes a calming breath, and avoids to look at Baekhyun. He’s not ready to face whatever emotion is painted on his features. Whether that be disdain or pity, he doesn’t want it. “So tell me. I’ll listen to you.” He finally looks at him, trying to decipher his emotions in the dark. Baekhyun looks startled at this, or maybe moved, or even upset; Lu Han cannot really tell in the darkness around them. “I wouldn’t even know where to start,” he says, in a voice that is barely a whisper. “From the beginning? I don’t know… whichever part of your story you think is more significant,” Lu Han tells him gently. Lu Han can imagine the apprehension he must be feeling, so he waits for him. He rests his head on his knees, leaves him alone with his thoughts for a second, stares mindlessly at the small torch. He knows what it is like to need space, and he is more than willing to offer it. After a while spent in silence, Baekhyun starts talking; voice clear and stable in the quietness of the Cells. Lu Han knows Baekhyun chooses carefully what he says, and sometimes it’s hard to follow him: he makes a lot of time jumps, he doesn’t follow the events as they played out. He talks about the small things that made him who he is, about the way his mother used to lull him to sleep with old melodies that are now carved in his mind, about how he used to think as a child that one smile from his father could light up the entire world. He describes his family home, and many times his voice gets stuck in his throat, as he moves to retell the events of the night his parents died – no, the night they were murdered. Lu Han feels the injustice as if he were there with him on that ominous night; he can feel the smoke suffocating him, hear the screams, and feel the helplessness of the eleven year old Baekhyun. The story leaves him numb inside, and as he hears a stiffled sob from across the room, he closes his eyes, heart aching for the boy across the room. In the end, which is more painful: having two living parents who don’t care for you one bit, or having them love you more than anything in the world and losing them both in such an unfair way? Lu Han lets Baekhyun regain his calm in peace, making no noise, staying still. He nearly predicts that a time jump will follow in his narration –he figures that this happens at every traumatic event in his story– and, indeed, when the younger boy begins with a shaky breath, he takes him years later, to the time he spent alone in the streets. The nights freezing in the dark, wondering whether he would survive the winter, meeting with his friend Jongdae who snuck out against his parents’ wishes to see him and make sure he was alright. His life is so foreign to Lu Han, who spent his days as a child wandering around the castle alone, and his teenage ones locked in a library all day in order to understand politics. He hangs on Bakhyun’s every word, immersed in a life that isn’t his. Every time Baekhyun talks about his friends – the way Jongdae always teams up with Baekhyun to make fun of the others, or how Sehun has a very convincing way to plead for what he wants, or how protective Minseok can become when they feel threatened; every time, Lu Han is caught by surprise at their strong bond. He can begin to understand now, why Baekhyun risked so much in this desperate attempt to save them. Lu Han mourns his own years he spent isolated, away from the few friends he ever had, with only company the books he was assigned to read. And for what? he thinks bitterly. He doesn’t know whether it has something to do with the atmosphere reigning over the Cells, but the more time he stays there, listening to Baekhyun, the more he feels like his whole life has been a series of pointless efforts from his part. And when Baekhyun moves on to tell him about what the life in the poorest neighborhoods of this City Lu Han has admired and worshipped all his life is like, he feels like piece by piece, his own life is crumbling. That little bubble he has happily lived his life inside is bursting, and it feels like he has been shaken awake after a long reverie. How could he have been so blind at what has been happening around him? “Lu Han?” Baekhyun speaks softly. “Are you alright?” Lu Han realizes he had stopped listening at some point, letting his head fall between his knees, hands messing up his hair. “I’m okay,” he tries to reassure Baekhyun, but his voice comes out muffled and shaken. “I’m okay,” he repeats, this time for himself. Baekhyun keeps talking for a long time after that, until his voice is hoarse, and Lu Han thinks it’s the first time they’ve ever talked like this; with honesty, with no statuses keeping them apart. Even with the bars separating them, Lu Han doesn’t think they’ve ever been this close before. Even if only Baekhyun is talking, he can feel the connection going both ways. He is not even aware of the time that has passed by, until a soft knock at the door interrupts Baekhyun, and the room falls silent. Tao peeks his head inside, apologetic, telling him that dinner will soon be served and that he is expected to attend, no matter what. He gets up wordlessly, and looks back at Baekhyun, who avoids his gaze. He is almost at the door, when a quiet voice stops him. “Will you come back?” Lu Han stifles a smile. “I will.” * The next day, Lu Han wakes up feeling purposeful. When Tao walks into his chambers, no doubt to wake him up, he is baffled to realize that Lu Han is already awake and dressed, waiting for him to arrive. “Tao!” he says brightly, in a tone he has not used in a while. “Just the man I was looking for.” Tao scratches his neck. “And such a surprise to see me here, I bet. It isn’t like I’ve been coming in here every morning for the past year,” he says dryly. “Come on, drop the sarcasm,” he continues in the same chirpy tone. “It is such a fine morning, you should be in a better mood.” “Alright, what do you want?” he asks with a grimace, and Lu Han thinks that Tao knows him too well for his own good. “There’s something you need from me, isn’t it?” “Well, if you’re so eager to get to business…” He pauses dramatically for a few seconds, and continues before Tao starts having homicidal tendencies. “I need you to get me to the Obsidian Dungeons.” There is a brief moment of silence as the two of them stare at each other, Tao probably waiting for Lu Han to tell him it is all a joke. “The Obsidian Dungeons?,” he repeats incredulously. Then, he adds sceptically, “You do know that is not where Baekhyun is kept, right?” Lu Han sends him a nasty look. “Listen, I’m not joking. I need to find some people.” “I don’t like this.” “I don’t care.” *** Baekhyun wishes he could say he is not waiting or anticipating Lu Han’s next visit. He knows that getting attached to the prince will get him nowhere, and, most of all, that he has more important things to focus on. The Cells must be driving him crazy, he thinks at some point. He cannot really think straight anymore; he is constantly plunged in memories, or random thoughts, or reveries about being outside: seeing the moon again, looking up to face the sky instead of the humid ceiling above him; even feeling the chilling cold of the winter winds would be more preferable than being locked up. He has never been fond of confinement, and the way he feels inside this tiny cell brings back memories from all the hours he spent hiding away in the Kims’ basement as guards barged into the house for inspections. Those times were always the worst: feeling like the walls were closing up on him, like he was buried alive, even. Even now, in the considerably larger space than the hole he hid in back then, he closes his eyes and thinks he is still there; taking shallow breaths due to the panic of being unable to move around, feeling caged, caught in somebody’s trap. He didn’t mention this to Lu Han during his visit, Baekhyun thinks absent-mindedly, and once again he feels a bit mortified at how many things about himself he did reveal to the other boy. He doesn’t regret it, not exactly. When he thinks back at that day, he is happy he shared these parts of him with someone, that he got to talk to Lu Han after days in utter isolation. He trusts Lu Han, somehow, and he is delighted that the prince managed to prove his worst fears wrong. Maybe there is hope, after all. Seeing how caring Lu Han can be, how mortified at his own ignorance he ended up being, how concerned for and interested in the kingdom he is, Baekhyun figures that maybe there is hope. Perhaps not for him, not now that he is locked up, probably to be executed as soon as possible; but for the rest of the people of Belland, for the people of Winterlake, those who have put up with incompetent and uncaring leaders for all these years… maybe they will get the chance to experience the change Baekhyun, and his parents before him, craved for. The people could use someone that cares, for once, and Baekhyun is confident that Lu Han can be strong enough to be the rock the kingdom needs to stand upright again. * When Lu Han arrives this time, Baekhyun is aware, and not startled awake from a nightmare like the previous time. When Baekhyun notices the guard standing next to the prince, however, he feels a fear like never before grabbing him. Could it be that the time for his execution had arrived? He had pretty much admitted to his crimes. The guard unlocks the door, and Lu Han steps inside. Baekhyun’s heart stops beating for the longest and more torturous second. “Are you sure, Your Majesty?” the deep-voiced guard asks. “Of course I am. No need to worry yourself, Kang,” Lu Han replies casually, taking the keys from the guard and shooing him away. “Hi,” he directs at Baekhyun, flashing him a smile. “What are you doing?” “I told you I’d come back, didn’t I?” Lu Han sends him a warm gaze, and then looks away, biting his lip. Baekhyun smiles back, pleased with the new arrangement that allows him to actually look at Lu Han’s face instead of just struggling to make out his expressions in the dim lighting. Had it been the first time he had visited, when things between them were tense and weird, Baekhyun might have entertained the idea of lunging at him to get his keys and attempt to escape, yet now he cannot even consider it. “Here,” Lu Han says, and hands him a flask. “I figured it was a big mistake of mine not to bring you water last time.” Baekhyun is taken aback. He shouldn’t really be surprised: he could easily imagine Lu Han being thoughtful like that, but he’s still not accustomed to someone that he does not practically consider family being so kind to him. “Thanks.” They sit in silence for a while. Lu Han has taken a seat on the floor next to him and their shoulders brush together every now and then, making Baekhyun smile. The contact reminds him that he is still very much alive. “How are things going out there?” Baekhyun asks. “Oh God, don’t remind me,” he replies with an exaggerated sad face that Baekhyun finds mostly cute. “It is absolutely crazy. I didn’t know how much work tending to a bunch of royals could be.” Baekhyun must look confused at this, because Lu Han explains, “The royals that attended the ball are staying over for a few… days? Weeks? I don’t even know at this point.” “Why, Lu Han, you should relish in those fascinating moments and all the fun you must be having,” Baekhyun teases, and he almost feels like they’re back at the stables, mocking each other and laughing together. “I’m sure I must be having more fun than a certain someone I know that is currently in jail.” “Oh, shut up,” Baekhyun says and bumps him with his shoulder. “Don’t be entertained by my pain.” Lu Han grins at him, and Baekhyun feels funny. He had forgotten how handsome the prince was up close. He looks away, perturbed. “No, but seriously, how are you?” Lu Han asks, concerned. “I know what kind of effect spending time in jail can have on someone.” “Nah, I’m good, so far.” He is tempted to say that Lu Han played a big role in keeping him sane, that their talk the other day truly helped him cope, but he doesn’t find the courage. “Aside from getting the worst sleep in my life –seriously, even when I was homeless I could sleep better– I’m okay. I’m fed, I have good company every now and then…” “Oh, really? And who is that, if you don’t mind me asking?” Lu Han picks up the joke. “Just this annoying brat that can only ever make good jokes,” he says, a teasing smirk on his face. “He’s also a good listener.” Lu Han smiles fondly, and Baekhyun gets a bit lost in his eyes, bright as ever, offering him a comfort he had missed since being locked up. “But seriously, Lu Han, thank you… for the other day.” “Don’t mention it,” Lu Han says, shrugging it off. “I truly meant everything I said. I do not aspire to be the kind of king my father is.” When Baekhyun sees the determination in his eyes, he believes him, and that scares him a little. What more dangerous is there than believing in someone, than knowingly taking the risk of them letting you down? “I believe,” Baekhyun starts, hesitant to expose himself. “I believe you would make a good king, Lu. Not simply that, but I think you can be what this kingdom needs. I think you hold the skills, and the heart, a king needs.” Lu Han stares back at him, and he seems so grateful it makes Baekhyun wonder whether he has had anyone else tell him something like this. Which then renders him to hurt a bit for him, considering how much his future reign seems to be troubling him. Especially when he shouldn’t need any further reassurance to believe in himself. Lu Han gets up abruptly, leaving Baekhyun dazed on the floor. He walks to the other side of the Cell, and faces the bars. “I’m not sure, Baekhyun. These days… nothing seems to be going right. My father believes in me even less than my mother does, and, believe me, that is already considerably close to not at all. The whole kingdom seems to be against the entirety of the royal family with a burning passion, and I doubt I could ever inspire them enough to restore a trust so heavily damaged.” He seems so dejected, Baekhyun gets up and approaches him without even meaning to. “I think if there is one person that could bridge this void between the people and its ruler, it would be you.” “Really?” his eyes show such vulnerability, and Baekhyun is glad he gets to see him defenseless for once, especially after showing him such a weak side of him on his previous visit. “Really.” Baekhyun steps closer, and he actually has to look up to stare into Lu Han’s eyes. “You made me trust you, and I consider this to be a feat by itself.” He does not know if it is the passion of his belief, or a pent-up frustration of some kind, but it feels like an undeniable force is pulling him towards Lu Han, and Baekhyun doesn’t even register his intentions until he tip toes, bringing his face so close to Lu Han’s he can actually feel the other’s breath ghosting over his own lips. He wants this, he realizes, gaze drawn by Lu Han’s lips. As if enchanted, he moves a hand up to Lu Han’s neck, bringing him down to brush their lips together. Lu Han’s response is immediate, a hand coming to rest on Baekhyun’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Baekhyun lets a pleased sigh escape his lips, the hand situated at the back of the prince’s nape urging him closer in an effort to deepen their kiss. Before Baekhyun has the chance to learn what Lu Han’s mouth tastes like, the other freezes, halting all movement at once, his hand coming in between them to push lightly at Baekhyun’s chest. Baekhyun steps back, and stares at him with confusion written in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” Lu Han stutters, not looking at him, taking a panicked step back. “I should go.” Baekhyun thinks he can feel a part of him withering away with each of Lu Han’s dying footsteps. * Baekhyun has spent the last few days drowning in misery and embarrassment, and although he should at least admit to himself that he has endured worse, if there is one thing Baekhyun truly despises, it is to be left with the taste of regret on his lips. Lu Han’s sudden change of heart had been like a harsh slap in the face, bringing him back to reality. It had sincerely been one of the worst moments in his life. How could he ever face Lu Han again, how could he ever deal with the awkwardness? More importantly, how could Baekhyun have ever thought Lu Han would be willing to overstep the boundaries and share something more than words with him? He sighs, regretting every life choice he has ever made to lead him to this moment. The door of the room opens, and to his utmost shame, Baekhyun’s first thought is that it could be Lu Han. The logical part of his brain tells him it is probably just some guard bringing him food. The schedule for his meals had been slightly messed up those last few times. There is indeed a masked guard approaching with a bowl of food, and Baekhyun cannot help but be intimidated. The man is tall and lean, yet his muscles seem to be well-defined under his uniform. The fact that he is masked is not the only fishy thing with the situation, he thinks when the guard unlocks the door of his cell instead of just slipping the food in like the rest did. “Baekhyun,” a very familiar voice sounds under the mask. “Jongin?” he exclaims, stupefaction quickly replaced by excitement. “You found me. Is that really you?” “Yes, it’s me,” Jongin says hurriedly. “But we don’t have much time. The castle is in chaos right now.” “Why? What happened?” Baekhyun asks, perplexed at what could cause such disarray in one of the most guarded and quiet places. “Apparently, there’s been an attack from the Rebellion,” Jongin says in hushed tones, even if no one is around to hear them. “And I say ‘apparently’ because this is so fucking sketchy I cannot begin to describe my doubts. They would have never attacked without making sure that all of their contacts inside the palace were informed. Neither Chanyeol nor I were.” “But they attacked the castle?” Baekhyun starts. “Where were the defenses?” “Well, one more thing to think about: the presumed Rebels not only managed to break inside the castle without attracting unwanted attention, but they also managed to get into the royals’ wing.” Baekhyun’s stomach churns. “And..?” “They murdered the Prince, Baekhyun.” Silence falls over the already quiet cell, and Baekhyun can only blink up at him in shock. He looks down at his feet, eyebrows scrunched together, utterly confused, the realization not having sunk completely. “What?” he asks, voice scratchy. “No, no, this cannot be,” he lets out, shaking his head furiously. “I’m so sorry, Baek,” Jongin says, sitting in front of him and taking off the mask. His eyes are swimming in pity, and the emotion on his face makes it all too real. A tear slides down Baekhyun cheek effortlessly, and he bites his lip to keep quiet. “Alright,” he says to ground himself. “Alright, what do we do now? Lu Han was the only reason I was even kept alive.” It feels so wrong, addressing him in the past tense. Baekhyun wipes the tears away angrily. He’s stronger than this, he reminds himself with despair. He has endured so much worse. And yet, the memories are all too fresh: a few weeks ago Lu Han’s presence was so comforting in the small cell Baekhyun had revealed his most treasured memories. A few days ago, Baekhyun had realized that his admiration and fondness for the prince might run deeper than he had previously thought. A few moments ago, he had been imagining the awkwardness that would divide them in their next meeting. Now he is supposed to let the fact that he is never going to see Lu Han again sink in, to realize that the prince he didn’t get to know as well as he would have liked was murdered; he is supposed to move on, even if the memory of the lips that didn’t quite touch his the way he wanted them to still haunts him. Baekhyun kind of shuts down, lost in his thoughts, only half-mindedly listening to Jongin, who says that he will have to break him out as soon as possible, what with the fate of the entire kingdom so uncertain. * What Baekhyun finds really unjust about Lu Han’s death is that he never really got to realize his dreams. He knew the boy long enough to know how much leading the kingdom into a better future mattered to him. Baekhyun himself had come to think that Lu Han had potential as a king, and knowing he never got the chance to put that potential to use was a saddening fact. Lu Han had occasionally talked to him about how he felt like he had wasted precious time of his life, and knowing that he never got to live the way he deserved and wanted to made Baekhyun feel the injustice of the situation. He felt numb, most of the time. It had been probably almost a day since Jongin broke the news to him, but Baekhyun had not been able to sleep. All he seemed to be able to do was stare mindlessly at the void. His head was swarming with thoughts of how he would manage to escape, or how exactly they would find the others, but occasionally they would drift back to Lu Han’s murder, wondering how it happened, whether the kill was quick, or if they chose to make it long and torturous. He felt tired, more than anything. Tired of the thoughts barricading his logic, tired of being helpless and confined. He wanted out, now more than ever. He wanted to get out of this hellhole, find his friends, the only people who could comfort him, and mourn. Instead, he was stuck inside the little cell, listening to the sounds of footsteps coming from outside, waiting for Jongin’s promised visit. He wondered how things were going: how the public reacted, how Lu Han’s parents dealt with their only son’s death, how the Rebels found the entire situation, since according to Jongin they couldn’t have planned this. When the door opens, Baekhyun cranes his head with interested, hoping to see Jongin’s face or a masked guard approach him. Instead there are two guards, dragging a lifeless body across the room, dropping him in the cell opposite of Baekhyun’s without sending him a second glance. Baekhyun lets out a low cry of horror when he takes in the man’s detailed features. Lu Han’s head snaps up, eyes meeting Baekhyun’s for a split second before his head falls back down, seemingly losing consciousness. Is this a dream? “Oh my God, you asshole,” Baekhyun whispers, and maybe Lu Han is conscious after all, because he seems to struggle to crane his head and look his way. “I thought you were dead!” he screeches, and Lu Han flinches. “It’s good to see you too,” the other boy answers with difficulty, and Baekhyun has to inch closer to his cell door to hear him. Baekhyun lets out a relieved and very embarrassing laugh. “I cannot believe this. I mourned your death!” Lu Han probably meant to laugh as well, but it sounds more like he is dying than anything else, and if the timing wasn’t so horrible, perhaps Baekhyun would have made a joke out of it. Under these circumstances, he is more worried that the other might choke himself to death from all his coughing. Taking that the other is not really capable of any talking, Baekhyun refrains from asking all the questions raised from the prince’s sudden resurrection and how he ended up in his home’s cells, of all places. Instead, he falls into deep slumber, his relief letting him finally get some peace. *** Waking up, Lu Han feels like shit. It is not simply the fact that his bones ache all over, from his head which had painfully bumped against a wall at some point to the cramps torturing his legs; no, it is also the fact that he had spent the entire previous day wondering what the hell was going on, getting beaten up and ending up in the palace’s cells. When the attack had taken place, Lu Han seriously thought he was either going to die, or be tortured by vicious vice-regals who wanted revenge on their king. If only he knew, he thought bitterly. It had all happened so fast: Lu Han hadn’t even taken notice of their presence when the heavy piece of wood had hit the back of his head. The biggest shock of his life, however, was when he woke up, tied painfully on a chair, to his father’s face. He was too dizzy to figure out exactly what the king had been saying, but what he did get sounded incredibly ominous for him. “Make it seem like an attack… attract pity from our allies… throw him in the cells…” Putting all the pieces together had been painful enough as it was, but hearing his own father say to him that he was not worthy of the title of a prince, that as long as he was alive Lu Han was never going to become the ruler to this kingdom; it ripped him apart. It was as if something had woken inside him, a fury he never thought one could hold against their own father. He thrashed and fought and screamed, until his father stopped talking and had to call the guards to take him away. The beating afterwards was not the most pleasant, but Lu Han felt satiated from finally lashing out and letting go of the silent hatred that had followed him all these years. Now, he is only slightly regretting it. He never thought the post-beating phase hurt more than the actual beating. Dazed as he is, he doesn’t hear the voices at first. Slowly all his senses return to more normal levels, and he can hear two voices conversing in hushed tones. For the life of him, Lu Han cannot make out what they’re saying, but after identifying Baekhyun’s voice is one of the two, he decides to reveal his consciousness by coughing loudly. “Lu Han?” Baekhyun calls out hesitantly. “I’m awake,” he croaks out, and although he can hear the commotion, he cannot see what is going on until his cell door opens and two feet appear in front of his eyes. He has only half a mind to feel apprehensive about the stranger, before he sits down beside him and hands him a flask of water. “Drink up,” he conducts in a gentle voice. “It’ll help.” Lu Han thanks him, and soon learns his name is Jongin. Baekhyun has walked over to his cell, and although he stubbornly refuses to make eye contact Lu Han is grateful that he is there. After what had happened between them the other day, he figures he has a lot of explaining to do to the poor boy who looks ashamed to even look him in the eyes. Jongin, it turns out, is a guard Lu Han has noticed before in hallways and gardens, and even in the royal dining room sometimes, which makes him suppose the other is a quite high ranking officer. What is news to him, is that he had been helping Baekhyun with his friends’ case all along. Lu Han is not stupid, he had already figured Baekhyun had help in what he was doing, but he never suspected it would be someone so… official. Lu Han doesn’t get the chance to delve into their past, but they seem pretty close, from what he can pick up in his only half-alive state. Lu Han tries to keep it short, when he starts explaining what has happened to him, and thankfully they both understand, not pushing him to answer more questions. “I will have to break you both out as soon as possible,” Jongin stresses, staring at the void, clearly calculating their chances. “Who knows what they’re counting on doing with you, if your own father is willing to lock you up to keep his power?” He sends him an apologetic look for speaking so bluntly. “The problem does not lie with simply getting you out,” he continues to explain, mostly to Lu Han. “We’ll have to find a relatively safe escape route, and I’ll also have to discover where the others are first.” The way he is staring at him makes him realize that they are expecting him to show them the way to get out of the castle. Only Lu Han has never been outside the castle. And then, suddenly, Lu Han remembers. There is another way to help them. “I might not be able to help you with that escape route, but I know where your friends are. I found them.” Baekhyun lifts his head to stare at him in amazement. “You searched for them?” Lu Han proceeds to explain how he had figured they were kept inside the prison for the more common crimes, where all the outlaws from the streets were taken. It seems like a long time ago, when he and Tao visited the infamous Obsidian Dungeons. “This is amazing news,” says Jongin, turning to glance at Baekhyun in excitement. “That actually helps a lot. Maybe getting him out of here as well wasn’t such a bad idea after all.” That makes Baekhyun blush, and Lu Han is kind of slow to understand what those words mean. He wishes he could thank Baekhyun properly for including him in their escape plan, but with Jongin there and Baekhyun reluctant to even make eye contact, it proves to be hard. The conversation seems to raise everyone’s spirits, which Lu Han appreciates. He was getting tired of feeling constantly so hopeless. “How are things outside?” Lu Han asks, afraid to hear the answer. Jongin pauses and seems to size up how much he can take before replying. “It’s absolute mayhem. Half the population is against the Rebellion for wasting resources on a simple murder,” he pauses and Lu Han grimaces –a simple murder?– “and the rest applaud their actions for finally making a move against the king. Meanwhile the royals empathize with the King,” Lu Han rolls his eyes, “and your parents are pretending to mourn you… very exaggeratedly, if I daresay so myself.” “I can already imagine how out of hand this situation is getting,” he responds, and then thinks of someone. “Jongin… since you too are a guard, do you know my bodyguard, Tao?” Jongin nods. “Is he… okay? Could you inform him I am alive, at least? And tell him not to blame himself?” Jongin’s eyes widen. “Yes, of course, if you think he is trustworthy. I’ll let him know. From what I’ve heard he might be taking a leave for some time, but I don’t think he has left yet.” After Jongin has left them alone, locking them back inside their respective cells, Lu Han supposes he has to say something. Something to stop the awkwardness, and maybe something that would explain his bahavior from the other day. Before he has the chance to say anything at all, Baekhyun speaks. “You know, I’ve been rejected by a guy before, but never again has said guy pretended to be dead afterwards.” There is a dead serious tone in his voice, and as they make eye contact, Lu Han rejoicing in the familiar mischievous glint in the other’s eyes, it only takes a moment for them both to crack up. Even if Lu Han knows the joke was placed to merely ease the awkwardness between them, and that they will eventually have to talk about the matter more seriously, he is glad they can still relish in their familiar bickering. *** Jongin’s hands are trembling as he sits down at the library table, away from any curious eyes, a random tome of the History of the Lands lying open in front of him. He opts to stare out the window instead of focusing on the words on paper that just seem to be blurring together, probably due to the sleep deprivation of the past few days. At least he gets to enjoy the beautiful view of the City, he thinks, trying to be positive even as his mind helpfully offers that it might be the last time he gets to witness the picturesque image. “Hey,” Chanyeol says, appearing from behind some dusty bookshelves to sit next to him. “How are you? I was worried.” Jongin smiles at him with affection, wanting to be reassuring, but the truth is, no one knows him as well as Chanyeol does and to him he’s an open book. “Things are looking up,” he says, and it’s true. Now at least they have a chance of getting out of this alive. “Lu Han turned out to be alive,” he whispers in a low voice. “There was never any attack from the Rebellion; the King staged his son’s death, and put him in the Cells.” After his initial shock, Chanyeol frowns. “But what are they going to do with him?” “I don’t know yet,” Jongin sighs. “We’ll have to act extra quickly with this complication.” “Wait,” Chanyeol starts at full volume, forgetting to lower his voice, and he grimaces at the loud sound before looking to see if they attracted anyone’s attention. “You’re taking the Prince with you? Are you completely insane?” he whispers incredulously. A book falls on the floor behind them, and they both startle, Chanyeol letting out a yelp at the sudden sound. They turn around, panicked, to check who was there. Chanyeol gets up, his built looking menacing from afar, Jongin supposes, and when he approaches the shelf the sound had come from, he finds nothing except for an abandoned book on the floor. “Well,” Jongin says uneasily, then continuing with their earlier conversation. “The guy isn’t half bad, and Baekhyun considers him a good person… He asked of me if we could include him in our rescue plan.” At Chanyeol’s unimpressed expression, Jongin shrugs. “Besides, I think he could be useful to the Rebellion,” he continues thoughtfully. “I mean, if we all get out of this alive, I’m guessing he won’t want to have anything to do with the royal family, which technically means that he could join the Rebels. Baekhyun says he truly cares for the Kingdom, and that he feels responsible for its fate. Perhaps the people would be willing to follow a prince with his personality... I’m sure the fact that the King hated him so much would help.” “Sometimes I wonder whether I am dating a lunatic or a fucking genius,” Chanyeol says and grins at him, making Jongin crack a smile back, despite the nervousness cracking his bones. “I don’t know if I’ll make it, Yeol,” Jongin sighs again, and elaborates upon noticing that Chanyeol has no clue what he’s talking about. “I don’t think I can handle this many responsibilities. What if I am the one to mess this up and everything goes wrong?” He closes his eyes and presses his lips together, attempting to stop himself from letting the panic take over. When he opens his lids again, Chanyeol seems to understand, staring at him with compassion. He places a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and smiles; the wide kind of smile that Jongin had always mocked him about being creepy, yet always felt special when he was on the receiving end. “Jongin, look at me,” Chanyeol says, in a gentle voice only reserved for him. “You can do this, alright? You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met: you’re strong, and you’re skilled, and you’re intelligent. If there’s one person who could deal with these sorts of situations, it would be you.” Chanyeol’s hand brushes away Jongin’s bangs that had been hiding the uncertain look from his face. “And you’re not alone, remember?” Chanyeol’s hands come to cup his cheeks, bringing their faces closer together. Jongin involuntarily lets his gaze drop to the other’s lips, eyelids closing on their own accord as Chanyeol’s own begin to droop. Once more, Jongin lets himself be taken away by Chanyeol’s kiss, the slow molding of their tongues giving him a euphoric feeling, allowing him to forget his troubles for one single fleeting moment. *** Once, when Jongdae had tried to wake him up hurriedly by shaking him, Baekhyun remembers elbowing him in the face instinctively. It is an event extremely hard to forget, considering how much he had to suffer, listening to endless whining from his ‘severely injured’ friend later on. Now, Baekhyun is at least grateful that Lu Han didn’t have to suffer the same fate. “Lu?” he asks groggily, sitting up and ignoring the usual pain shooting through his neck at the uncomfortable sleeping position. “What the hell? How did you get here?” “Come on, Baek. Hurry,” Lu Han says, pulling him up. “Jongin is getting us out tonight.” That attracts his attention, effectively waking him up. Jongin is indeed in front of the door, peeking outside carefully. “Quickly, guys. The next guards will be coming for their shift in a little bit.” They move quickly, outside the room and down numerous corridors, and Baekhyun doesn’t even register his surroundings properly until they’re outside. Had they not been in such a hurry, Baekhyun would have liked to pause and stare at the night sky, enjoy the light breeze on his face, feel the cold seeping into his bones. Alas, they don’t exactly have much time. “Lu Han, lead the way to the Dungeons,” Jongin whispers quietly, and immediately, Lu Han takes the lead, walking towards the Lake. Not too far away from where Lu Han and Baekhyun first met, there is the door Lu Han had described to them the other day, leading underground to the Obsidian Dungeons. The three of them hide between some bushes, watching as the two guards placed in front of the door converse quietly. “So what now?” Baekhyun asks. “We could take them,” Jongin offers, not noticing Lu Han’s horrified look at first. “Or not, I guess.” “We cannot attack two innocent guards! They will probably be executed for not performing well on the job.” Baekhyun wants to point out that those guards in the Onyx Cells they had just escaped from would probably be in trouble as well, but he resists. “Aren’t they rotating shifts?” he asks instead. “I don’t know how these shifts work. It’s different for every part of the castle,” Jongin explains, frowning and still staring at the two unsuspecting guards. Baekhyun sighs. They are so close that these little inconveniences irritate him, more than anything. They’ve come so far… “How about you distract them, Jongin? They’d listen to you, since you’re a guard. Lu Han and I will go in and fetch the rest, and then we’ll meet somewhere else.” The gears in his brain are working fast, trying to figure out if his plan could work. “We can meet at the tunnels, at the start of the escape route,” Lu Han suggests. “Yes, but it’s already been some time since you two have been gone,” Jongin counters thoughtfully. “What if they notice and the alarm bells sound, sending the whole city in a frenzy? It will be harder for us to meet, and we won’t even be able to improvise with the escape plan.” “Is there a better idea on the table, though?” Baekhyun points out. “We cannot simply stand here until something changes.” “Alright, it could work,” Jongin says, a hint of a doubtful tone in his voice. “What do I distract them with? Any ideas?” Lu Han hums and narrows his eyes. “Uhm, how about asking for help with something?” “Like what, dumbass?” Baekhyun asks, then jokingly adds, “Do you expect him to say that a friend fell in the Lake or something?” Jongin and Lu Han exchange a look. “Maybe not a person,” Jongin starts. “Maybe I could say I lost an object, and that I am not the best swimmer to get it.” Baekhyun stares at them, Jongin waiting for their approval, Lu Han already nodding in agreement. “Alright, then. Go ahead.” As they watch Jongin approach the guards, using the path that arrives from the Lake, Baekhyun tries to tone his anticipation down. When the guards follow Jongin, who is making big and dramatic gestures with his hands, Baekhyun abandons their hiding place, waiting for Lu Han to follow before dashing towards the Dungeons’ entrance. They slip in effortlessly, and Baekhyun takes a second to pause when they reach the bottom of the stairs, making Lu Han bump into him. The Obsidian Dungeons are twice the size of the Cells, and Baekhyun had thought those were large enough. The biggest contrast, however, is how filled they are. Everywhere he looks, there are people, three or more in each cramped cell, rotting away. The air is terribly humid from being so close to the Lake –they are almost completely underneath it, after all– and he immediately finds spots where water is leaking from the walls, persistently falling on certain prisoners who barely react at all. “Baekhyun?” Lu Han says from behind him, touching his shoulder to urge him to move on. “Come this way.” Lu Han knows where he is going, so their arrival must feel natural to the prisoners that are awake, who all flinch away as the two of them walk down the aisle, probably thinking they are guards. They arrive in front of a cell towards the back, and Baekhyun has to bite his lip to keep from calling out when he spots the familiar silhouettes in front of him. Instead, he slowly takes the wire Jongin had given him earlier out of his cloak’s pocket and gets to working on the lock. The three people occupying the cell are all asleep, just like the occupants of the rest of the nearby cells. Minseok’s lap is occupied by Jongdae’s resting head, and Sehun is curled up on his other side. Baekhyun’s eyes start watering and he blinks furiously to keep himself focused on his task. He feels Lu Han’s hand on his back, and he draws as much strength as he can from the little move of familiarity. Minseok stirs at the noise, and when he cracks an eye open to check what is going on he almost jumps out of his skin. “Baek?” he whispers, shell shocked. Baekhyun sends him half a smile, ignoring the tears brimming in his eyes, trying hard to concentrate on the damn door. “Did you really think I’d leave you here?” he teases, unable to resist the temptation. Minseok lets out a quiet laugh, and Baekhyun really attempts to stop himself from thinking how much he has missed that smile in favor of actually getting to them. “Have you forgotten how to pick a lock?” Minseok smirks. “Shut up,” Baekhyun says just as the lock clicks, making him smile triumphantly. When he walks inside it feels a bit like a dream; he has been craving this reunion for so long it now seems surrealistic. He watches Minseok carefully moving the two sleeping boys away from his body, letting them gently on the floor, before he gets up, and hugs Baekhyun with a force he didn’t expect from the otherwise calm boy. “I missed you so much,” Baekhyun whispers into the other’s arms. “You shouldn’t have risked so much for us,” Minseok whispers back, and Baekhyun moves back to stare at him. “Hyung?” Sehun asks sleepily from the floor, rubbing his eyes at the crowd in the cell. “Baekhyun?” he asks when he sees him, stupefied. He shoots up, approaching them. “Is that really you? Did they capture you, too?” he frets, and Baekhyun laughs. They hadn’t changed one bit. “You brat,” he murmurs, messing with his already dirty and unruly hair. “Didn’t I tell you I would never leave you? Never let anything bad happen to you?” Baekhyun knows that Lu Han is too polite to say that they should really start moving because Jongin cannot possibly distract the guards for an eternity, so he opts to kneel next to Jongdae after a quick hug with Sehun. “Yah,” he smirks into his ear, and Jongdae nearly cries out from the abrupt waking. “Baekhyun,” he says simply, a blank look on his face, staring at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. “Jongdae,” says Baekhyun, with an equally serious look on his face, and Jongdae snaps out of his disbelief. “Oh my God, oh my God,” he exclaims in hushed tones. “It really is you.” When he envelops him in a tight embrace, it feels like the most natural thing on earth, and this time Baekhyun is ashamed to admit that he cannot stop the tears from escaping his eyes. “Of course you would nearly sleep through the reunion,” he says, half-laughing, half-crying. Lu Han clears his throat from somewhere behind them, drawing attention for the first time, and his three friends turn to look at him, soon sending questioning looks between them. “This is Lu Han,” Baekhyun introduces, “Lu Han, this is Jongdae, Minseok and Sehun whom I talked to you about,” he says, pointing at each person. “The Lu Han?” Jongdae inquires, staring with fascination. “I’ll explain everything later,” Baekhyun smiles reassuringly at their apprehensive faces, “But right now we really should get a move on. Jongin is out distracting the guards.” “Jongin?” Sehun speaks out this time. “Long story,” Baekhyun sighs. “Come on.” * For once, Baekhyun feels happy, satisfied. As they wait for Jongin to arrive in the dark tunnel, while telling their story from the very beginning, Baekhyun feels like he has escaped this constant and haunting despair that had been following him ever since he started looking for his friends. They are all ready to move on to a new chapter in their lives, and Baekhyun is ready for that. Baekhyun needs a new beginning, and this one looks promising. “Isn’t that Jongin?” Minseok points out from where he is leaning against the wall, interrupting the tale of how Lu Han caught Baekhyun at the ball. “Hey,” Jongin greets them when he arrives, a large bag on his shoulder, sending them a blissful smile before hugging the newly-rescued members of the group. “It’s such a relief to see you all safe.” Baekhyun had never realized before how uncoordinated a conversation of six could be, but he can fully see the inconvenience now, as he struggles to be heard over the voices of five other individuals, all talking animatedly. “Leave the Prince.” The new, low-pitched and threatening voice stands out, making them all freeze immediately. “Yifan?” Lu Han’s hesitant voice interrogates the man. The tall figure comes out of the shadows, eyes frantically searching for the prince. The man –Yifan– looks exhausted: eyes bloodshot, steps uncertain, posture slumped. There is a knife in his hand, Baekhyun realizes with horror, and it doesn’t look safe in his large but flailing arms. “Don’t you worry, Lu,” he says, and there is an edge in his voice, an edge that scares Baekhyun. Who knows what people are willing to do when driven over that delicate edge? “I will save you.” Several questioning looks are thrown around, as Yifan continues. “You thought no one was going to realize you had kidnapped the Prince? That you disgraceful rebels had faked his death to probably torture him somewhere away from the castle’s protection?” “What the fuck is he talking about?” Sehun asks, and Baekhyun flinches when the strange man turns his attention to the youngest of the lot for the briefest second. “You weak assholes,” Yifan sneers at them all. “Attacking royalty because you were unable to rise into wealth yourselves. Thank God I heard you,” he says, pointing at Jongin, “at the library the other day, and figured out your plans.” A look of recognition flashes through Jongin’s eyes, and Lu Han, who is standing frozen by his side, tries to speak, “No, Yifan, you got it all wrong-” The man waves him off. “I’ll protect you, Lu. Because I love you, you know that.” “Wait,” Lu Han tries to say again, but Yifan is already moving their way, and his attention shifts from Lu Han, to Baekhyun. It all happens way too quickly. Yifan is charging at him, trying to get to the prince, and Baekhyun knows he is fighting a losing battle. There is a slight commotion as he attempts to throw the knife out of Yifan’s hand. Immersed into his effort not to die, he almost doesn’t hear Sehun moving their way, trying to pull Yifan away from Baekhyun. Baekhyun realizes too late what is happening. “Sehun, get away!” he screams, uncaring about the noise as he watches mayhem unravel in front of his eyes. The blood erupts, about as crimson as Baekhyun’s vision. He can distantly hear a heart-wrenching wail, and he thinks it might be coming from his own mouth. He stares and stares for a few long moments, unmoving, as a wide-eyed Sehun falls to the ground. For an absurd second, everyone, as if enchanted, is staring the fallen boy, who is helplessly struggling to take the knife buried deep into his chest out. Don’t panic. Baekhyun thinks it is his mother’s voice whispering in his ear, urging him to dry his tears and make eye contact with Jongin, who is standing in shock closest to the bleeding Sehun, motioning for him to check on the youngest. Upon facing the slightly shaken yet still determined look on Yifan’s face, Baekhyun feels dreadful. Murderer, his mind screams at him, and at the faintest blink of his eyes, Baekhyun is flooded by images of red soaking Sehun’s filthy shirt. He fights it off, trying to retain his calm. His next reaction is instantaneous, as he sees another flash of silver on the man’s hand. Baekhyun scrambles to his feet, his hand moving at its own accord, emerging from his pocket with his knife. He doesn’t even think about what he is doing until Lu Han is spinning and taking a sharp intake of air. With Baekhyun’s knife scraping his throat, Lu Han doesn’t even have the courage to move a finger. As the prince’s back is pressed against Baekhyun, he can easily feel the shiver running down the trapped boy’s spine. “Leave,” Baekhyun addresses this at Yifan, his tone cold and unforgiving, unfamiliar even as it rings in his own ears. “You won’t alert anyone about this, and you’ll let us go in peace. Otherwise I will not hesitate to slice the Prince’s throat.” Yifan’s eyes are ready to bulge out of his head, staring horrified at Lu Han, who has closed his eyes tightly, trying not to swallow due to the persistent pressure against his throat. “Leave!” he yells at the man, voice cracking as he sends a side-glance at the others, crowding around Sehun. He can hear Jongin sobbing, and gets a fleeting image of Jongdae staring mindlessly at the void while Minseok tries desperately to help Sehun. Yifan sends a last, uncertain glance at Lu Han, mouthing the words ‘I’m sorry’, before fleeing the tunnels as quickly as he can. With a clutter that seems to echo endlessly in Baekhyun’s head, the knife falls from his hand, and Lu Han staggers away from him. “Sehun?” he lets out brokenly, spinning around to approach the younger boy. He doesn’t look well. His face is practically ashen, his hand weakly trying to clutch at the nasty wound. The blood is pooling quickly around his body, soaking Minseok’s legs in it. He lets his fist come to cover his mouth, biting onto it as to not release the scream building up inside him. With tears blurring his vision and wetting his face, Baekhyun falls painfully to his knees, leaning towards a lifeless Sehun. He can only partially register Minseok, Jongdae and Jongin backing away. “Sehun?” He lets the name drop from his lips like a prayer; one left unanswered. “No, no, no…” he cries into Sehun’s chest, not caring about the blood staining his shirt, and sticking at his skin. “This cannot happen. Don’t die… please don’t die.” His words stop making sense a moment later, when they are too muffled from Sehun’s shirt, his quiet sobs resonating through the tunnel. His pleading stops altogether after a while, when he runs out of tears, when he realizes there is nothing to be done, once again. The dead are never really the ones experiencing death, an old tale says. Those who experience death are those left behind: those that suffer the most after their lover’s last breath, or their friend’s last words. Those who don’t get closure, those who have to go on with their lives without their loved ones in it. *** Lu Han wakes up to whispers. He had fallen asleep the second his head touched the floor, their long jog through the tunnel proving to be impossibly exhausting for the only member of their group not accustomed to non-stop exercise, something the rest seemed familiar with after experiencing the hectic life of being on the streets. He felt like he was slowing them down due to his lack of experience with running –Lu Han didn’t expect it would be this tiring after riding his horse every day– and with them all being in such low spirits, he didn’t want them to resent him for being so useless. He knows there were many differences separating them, and he knows how they had all lived their days perceiving the royalty as the enemy. It renders him extremely self-conscious, even if the group of friends is still too shaken over Sehun’s death to pay much attention to him. He can see it in their eyes: the loss, the pain, the sadness… the anger. A red-eyed Jongin had approached him earlier to remind him that he shouldn’t be blaming himself, but how can he not, when it practically was all his fault? He should have tried harder to stop Yifan; he should have shown him the truth, somehow. Yifan… Lu Han is still shocked over seeing him like that. He looked completely out of his mind, frantically trying to save him without even understanding the situation. If only he had listened to him, if only he hadn’t misunderstood the situation as badly; none of them would be in this mess. Baekhyun’s stance is the most perplexing. After his first outburst of emotion as Sehun died in his arms, he had been completely closed-off; refusing to talk much to anyone, choosing to be alone most of the time; forcing himself not to feel, Lu Han would say, which was surprising, taking under account Baekhyun’s personality. As for Lu Han, the veil of numbness that had fallen over him as he witnessed Sehun dying out in front of their eyes had retreated, leaving him absolutely empty. He tossed and turned in a disturbed sleep; his dreams haunted by a pale face in bright contrast with crimson blood, or an anguished wail, or steel against his throat. When he jolts awake, not really by the murmurs but rather by the feeling of drowning into his own blood after having his throat slashed – a rather appallingly detailed nightmare, if you ask him – the two voices don’t seem to notice him. Lu Han’s heartbeat is still pounding in his ears, and he has some difficulty making out their words at first. He lies back down on the hard floor of the humid cave, careful as to not disturb Jongin next to him. “It’ll break him,” a voice he isn’t really accustomed to hearing says, and Lu Han bets it’s Jongdae. “You know how protective he’s always been with Sehun.” The voice cracks at the name, and the person –Jongdae?– swallows a sob. “You know him, Jongdae,” the other voice –Minseok– speaks, “he will try to keep his emotions to himself, until it eventually bursts out of him. Baekhyun hates losing control over the situation; yet most of all he hates losing control over himself.” There is a pause, and then some words he cannot make out are exchanged, ending up with quiet sniffs. “I just cannot believe he’s really gone,” Jongdae speaks softly, voice so small Lu Han struggles to hear him. “Today was supposed to be the happiest of days: all of us reunited. Instead…” “I know, I know,” Minseok comforts him, and there’s a sound Lu Han assumes is the older boy pulling Jongdae into his arms. His voice is strained when he says, “We’ll get through this.” He sounds so unsure, so doubtful, so unlike the unbreakable Minseok Baekhyun had described to him; Lu Han cannot even imagine what it must be like to lose such a close friend… he cannot imagine losing Tao or Yixing for the life of him. The thought makes him wonder what his own friends felt when they thought he was dead. It fills him with dread, and a strange kind of rage. If his death had never been faked, they wouldn’t be here right now. He would still be living his dull life at the Palace, and Jongin would have to only break four boys out of prison. Chances are, Sehun would still be alive, perhaps in the exact place Lu Han is currently occupying among this group he feels he is unwantedly infiltrating. The guilt eats him up, and keeps him wide awake, even as Jongdae and Minseok stop conversing, instead ending up lying down somewhere nearby. Complete silence falls over the small cave, and Lu Han begins to feel painfully aware of every little sound. He can hear the breeze echoing through the thick walls, and every slight shift in Jongin’s sleeping position. Still unable to sleep, he starts listening to the others’ breathing. Jongin’s is loud and clear next to him, and if he listens closely, he can hear even and stable breaths from where Minseok and Jongdae are sleeping. He listens for Baekhyun, from somewhere across the cave, but finds nothing. Maybe he just sleeps soundlessly, he thinks, and yet, the next second he is getting up with slow and careful movements, hoping not to step on any of Jongin’s body parts in the darkness. He curses them all for putting out the candle that at least offered them some light, and chooses to grab it. He stumbles across the cave towards Baekhyun’s general direction, something in his gut telling him he is not sleeping. He spots his figure, but he is unable to figure out if the other is awake. “Baekhyun?” he whispers, sitting down next to him. “Are you awake?” There’s slight shifting, and then, “I am now.” His voice sounds tired, more than anything else, and Lu Han feels the urge to somehow help him. Knowing Baekhyun, he suspects that this is what he would want, too. Who wouldn’t need some comfort in such times? “How are you?” he asks, struggling to light a match against the cave walls. He succeeds, and in the pale light, he catches Baekhyun looking at him. His eyes hold a melancholy Lu Han wants to chase away. “I am alright,” Baekhyun mumbles, his unstable voice betraying the lie, as Lu Han lights the candle. Lu Han closes his eyes. “No need to lie with me,” he says softly. In an instantaneous decision, he lies down next to Baekhyun, turning to face him. “It’s okay not to be okay sometimes, you know.” His voice is nothing more than a whisper. Lu Han knows the feeling of having to stay strong for others when all you want to do is be left alone. He sees the tears welling in Baekhyun’s eyes. “I just don’t understand how things could go from perfect to horrible so quick,” he says, blinking furiously to stop his tears. “We were one moment away from safety and freedom.” His bitter laugh pains Lu Han. “Isn’t that unfair?” “It is,” Lu Han agrees, and raises a trembling hand to wipe away the younger boy’s tears, making the younger stare at him wide-eyed. “But what part of life is ever fair?” he murmurs, thinking back to Baekhyun’s story: how he lost his parents, and his home, and his refuge a few years later. How Jongdae had to run away for being caught helping Baekhyun, or how Sehun’s parents were ready to sell him away. How Minseok grew up an orphan in the streets; how Lu Han grew up trying hard to feel worthy of his title only to end up pushed away by his own father. Baekhyun bites his lip, and Lu Han notices how his gaze holds the suppressed urge to run away. Isn’t that an instinct, in the end? To leave your troubles behind, escape reality, or pretend not to be broken? Humans are creatures of habit, his mother would always say. “You should let yourself mourn, Baek,” he says, and that seems to make Baekhyun snap. He tries to look away as he struggles to repress his sobs and control his ragged breathing, but Lu Han pulls him closer instead, strong arms encircling his waist. Lu Han hears the sharp intake of breath, but Baekhyun doesn’t fight him. Instead, he hugs him back, and buries his face into Lu Han’s shirt, effectively muffling his crying. Baekhyun falls asleep like this, his tear-stricken face resting on Lu Han’s chest, his arms grabbing at Lu Han’s waist for a lifeline to hold on to. Lu Han presses a calming kiss into his hair before he falls into slumber himself; his last thought being that maybe he is not as useless as he thought he was, if he can at least still offer comfort to someone he cares about. *** A few hours later, Baekhyun wakes up to someone saying his name. “Baek?” It is Lu Han’s voice; Baekhyun realizes he’s come to recognize it almost immediately after all these weeks. He opens his lids, only to come face to face with Lu Han, who blinks at him slowly and offers a smile. Only on one occasion have they ever been this close before, and Baekhyun takes a moment to appreciate the man’s angelic features. “Too close,” he mumbles groggily, pushing him away. Baekhyun can hear his quiet laugh as he rubs his eyes grumpily. “Why’d you wake me?” Lu Han ruffles his hair playfully, forcing a whine out of him. “Jongdae says we should get a move on, in case there are guards after us. Apparently the tunnel ends soon.” Baekhyun hums in contemplation, before getting up slowly, grimacing as he cranes his neck. “You’re not comfortable,” he throws at Lu Han over his shoulder as he approaches the others. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Jongdae greets him as he sits down next to him, with Lu Han behind him. “How are you doing?” Baekhyun knows better than to be fooled by his casual and cheerful tone, concern underlines his every word. “I’m good,” he answers as truthfully as he can, although being reminded of what happened to Sehun is still like a stab to the chest. “You?” he asks, looking at them one by one. They’re all looking better: Jongin’s face got some of its color back, Minseok looks a lot calmer, and Jongdae’s eyes are no longer red and puffy. He knows they will all get over it, eventually. Maybe not completely: Sehun’s memory will always be with them in a way; but it will get better. “I’m alright,” Jongdae answers, and that wide smile is back on his face. “Although I regrettably slept without a pillow.” He sighs dramatically and sends him and Lu Han a knowing look. “Say, Lu Han, would you offer your services to me, too? I love cuddling,” he adds with a smirk. “Oh, I bet,” Minseok says dryly, and Jongdae pouts at him. Baekhyun is not ready for the sense of normalcy that comes with their playful bickering, and he feels the sappy smile Jongdae had always teased him about conquering his face. He hides it, and jokes loudly. “Jongdae, literally everyone knows how much you love spooning,” he says, looking him in the eye challengingly, “and being the little spoon, most of all.” “Oh please,” Jongdae scoffs. “Someone as manly as me can only be the big spoon.” Baekhyun is about to joke about the time Jongdae got drunk and pleaded Sehun to let him cuddle with him, before he realizes that Sehun isn’t there to laugh with them. “Minseok can testify too,” he says instead, after an uneasy pause. “Jongdae is always the little spoon,” Minseok verifies, and Jongdae erupts in protests. Lu Han and Jongin share a helpless look at the conversation they’re not a part of and the joke is soon turned on them. For a few moments, all Baekhyun can think is that maybe for now he should appreciate what he has, and that his positivity might eventually allow him to move on. * For the first time, they start making plans as they walk through the end of the tunnel. They hadn’t touched that subject yet, afraid that talking about what they’re going to do would make them panic. Now, one step away from reaching their idea of freedom, they need to figure out what path everyone has carved for themselves. Jongin is clear, from the very beginning. “As much as I love your company, guys, I hold a lot of responsibility within the Rebellion, and I must go back.” “Look at our Jongin, all grown up now,” Jongdae coons, as he climbs the ladder leading outside, and Jongin grimaces. “A devoted member of a powerful organization, working hard for the kingdom’s better future.” “Oh, please,” Baekhyun smirks, and gestures dramatically with his hands. “All Jongin wants is to be reunited with the love of his life.” “Wh-what?” Jongin stutters, a blush already creeping up his cheeks, before he turns away, embarrassed, to get on the ladder as well. “What?” Baekhyun teases. “You truly thought I wouldn’t notice all the intense eye contact between you and Chanyeol? Or your affectionate smiles when you talk about him? Don’t get me on how Chanyeol looks like a lovesick puppy when you’re mentioned in the conversation. You two are so cute it makes me want to puke.” “Aww, he’s blushing,” Jongdae informs him, voice coming from the outside. “Look at this youngling; already falling in love and all.” The words drain him of his want to joke. Baekhyun thinks of Sehun immediately; after all, he was their youngest, until a day ago. It all dawns on him; that Jongin is now the youngest of the group; that Sehun never really got the chance to fall in love. That he didn’t get to live at all... that he would never grow up: eternally at nineteen, and only in their minds. When he exits the small hole they came from, he looks at the others, wondering what is with the sudden silence. He notices the mournful look on their faces, as if they had the same thoughts as him. He also takes a moment to notice his surroundings, the fresh air feeling cleansing. He narrows his eyes at the suddenly overwhelming light of the full moon. Not a thing seems to have changed. The streets are empty due to the curfew, and they should find refuge before they stumble upon any stray guards. “Who is Chanyeol?” Minseok calls out from below, easing the situation, sounding interested. Once they’re all outside, they start walking once again, to find a building suitable for them to stay the night. As Jongin struggles to find an appropriate answer to explain Chanyeol’s unique nature, all the while trying to avoid Jongdae’s incessant comments and teasing, Baekhyun tunes out of the conversation, turning to Lu Han behind him, adjusting his pace to walk next to him. “Welcome to Shadowcrest,” he says, a bright grin on his face. He missed this feeling of freedom the Palace never could have offered him. Lu Han is looking around with fascination, and Baekhyun cannot even imagine what it must be like for him: transitioning from the glamorous Grand Palace to the filthy and cramped streets of Shadowcrest. “It’s a sudden change,” he says. “Although it looks a lot like you described it.” After a few wordless moments, and a lot of thinking about how to strike a conversation, Baekhyun cannot help but ask. “What’s got you all silent?” Not knowing what to talk about has never been part of their problems when together. “Nothing much,” he answers, shrugging. “Just thinking about stuff.” “Are you worried about what you’re going to do?” Baekhyun can understand fearing the feeling of uncertainty. Lu Han nods, seeming out of it. Baekhyun playfully nudges him with his shoulder, earning him a smile and an elbow at his side. He groans, and fakes an exaggerated frown. “Hey, Lu,” he says after they’ve walked a bit further. “First of all, I wanted to thank you, for yesterday. I want…” he pauses for a bit. “No, I need you to know how much it meant to me. All you did. I needed it, I think.” “It’s no problem. To be honest, seeing you so heartbroken, yet unwilling to express your sorrow…” Lu Han falters. “It hurt me, too, somehow.” Baekhyun cannot stop the fond smile from taking over his face, and, after looking at Lu Han thoughtfully for a second, he laces their fingers together. He proceeds with sending him interrogative look, as if asking him whether this is alright, and Lu Han responds by pulling at his hand to bring him closer. “And… one more thing, Lu,” Baekhyun says, looking up at him, with a gentle yet sad smile. “About what happened yesterday…” He swallows, then makes an effort to smile again. “Don’t even think of blaming yourself about what happened, do you hear me? It was an accident, and by no means your fault.” “I know all that,” Lu Han admits, hesitating before adding, “But if I wasn’t there to begin with, none of this would have happened… I feel responsible, because Yifan did what he did for me, you know?” “Nonsense,” he says and waves it off. “You’re being unfair; you’re not to blame for any of this.” Baekhyun pulls them both to a stop, licking his lips nervously before speaking. “I’m still glad… that you were there with me through all this mess.” Lu Han looks back at him, and some of the guilt that weighted his gaze seems to ease away. “Baek?” he asks, leaning slightly down, leaving only a few centimetres between them. A hand comes to rest on his cheek, his thumb smoothing circles on his skin. Baekhyun is captivated by the intense look in his sparkling eyes. “Can I kiss you?” Instead of replying, Baekhyun brushes their lips together teasingly for the briefest of seconds, before pulling away. In the end, Lu Han is the one who searches for further contact, pressing his body flush against him, and reconnecting their mouths. The kiss is slow, and the teensiest bit of perfect, making Baekhyun want to melt away into the arms that have come to hold his frame tightly. Baekhyun lets his own hands lock behind Lu Han’s neck, swallowing Lu Han’s small sigh as his lips part. When the kiss ends, both of them are breathless, and Baekhyun would like for their moment to last eternally. Alas.... “Looks like Jongin isn’t the only one who found love in our absence,” Jongdae comments to Minseok, loudly enough to break the spell. Lu Han jumps away instantly, and Baekhyun is startled as well. “Shut up, Jongdae,” he says, unable to hold back his bright smile, linking arms with Lu Han theatrically, and moving forward to join the group of surprised friends that had stopped when they noticed the two of them were left behind. “Well? Are we going to stay here all night, or what?” * When they find an empty building to stay the night, their future comes up again in the conversation. “I’ve been thinking…” Jongdae falters, uncertain eyes flickering around their circle. “I’m not sure I want to stay in Belland anymore. Or in Winterlake, for that matter.” After he’s said it, he bites his lip, waiting for their reactions. All of them are too shocked to reply. “With all that has happened,” he explains further, “I don’t know if I could find the strength to move on here.” Baekhyun nods understandingly. He’s thought about it, too. Whether he could walk the same streets he got to know Sehun through, and live in the distorted city that has taken his everything through the years. He has a hard time imagining a future away from the twisted beauty that is Belland, but that doesn’t mean much. He’s learnt that change can be a good thing, sometimes. He also understands Jongdae’s hesitation. This is the land they grew up in, after all. This city, no matter how much it managed to fuck them up, still holds their only ties with their families, their childhood, their whole lives, so far. It is impossible not to feel that special kind of connection with their homeland, impossible not to feel like they would be ripping out their roots if they were to decide to leave and never look back. “Yeah,” Minseok hums. “I think I know what you mean. But where could we even go?” Baekhyun smiles at the fact that Minseok’s first instinct was to call it a ‘we’. “We could always find a way to cross the borders,” Jongdae says, full of hope, a childish kind of excitement. “We could live at Oldsilver, the capital of Silvervale; it is relatively close. Or Linshore, in Glassport, even! There are so many places I would love to visit.” It has always been a fact, how much Jongdae suffered from wanderlust. He was unfortunate to be born poor, when he aspired to travel so much, even outside the Lands of the Mist. Who knows, maybe if he had never been caught by the guards after the appallingly strict curfew, he would now still be living with his family, who, from what he had heard, had managed to move to Highcourt after his father’s unexpected promotion. Jongdae had been caught on Baekhyun’s 17th birthday. Everyone now knew the date as the day the number of guards started augmenting hugely – new measures taken by an increasingly harsh King. Baekhyun had warned Jongdae not to go out that day, as he knew from rumors circulating around the streets about the newly-appointed guards who would be out looking for outlaws. Jongdae, unfortunately, had always been reckless, and incredibly bad at following orders. He had snuck out once more, stolen sweets overflowing from his pockets. Baekhyun might have felt like the happiest man on earth that day, spending his night with his best friend, yet the satisfaction hadn’t lasted long. The next day, Jongdae returned to him with a black eye. Apparently, as he was returning home, some guards had seen him and attempted to arrest him. Thankfully, Jongdae was swift, and he knew the streets much better than the freshly-appointed guards, therefore had managed to get away, knowing that he could never return to his family. “I’ve heard the weather at Linshore is always bright, the complete opposite from Belland,” Jongdae continues to ramble dreamily. “Indeed,” Lu Han jumps into the conversation, surprising everyone. “I have a friend that lived there for a while, and he says not only is the city stunning, but it is also kind to travellers.” Baekhyun can see Jongin eyeing Lu Han, with a contemplating look on his face, as Jongdae asks, fascinated, about what other information the prince knows about locations outside of Belland. Lu Han seems to be enjoying it infinitely, as if he’s finally putting all that information to use, for someone who is truly interested to hear him. “Would you really be able to leave the city?” Minseok asks him, from where he is sitting beside him, watching Jongdae’s lit up face for a little longer before turning to him. Baekhyun hums, thinking hard. “I’m not really sure,” he admits. “You know how I always complain about… well, everything? Well, I’m not sure I would want to leave that life behind, no matter how bad or shitty.” Minseok nods, and Baekhyun knows he understands him. “In that short while I spent in the Palace, I often wondered whether I could do this for the rest of my life,” Baekhyun continues, staring in the distance. “I couldn’t come up with an answer, in the end. In my mind, I knew that after all we’ve been through, here, the answer should be easy to find. Who wouldn’t wish for shelter and a job? Some stability in their lives after years wasted in the dark and in the cold?” He pauses once more, and sighs. “On the other hand, when I think of Shadowcrest, do you know what the first words that pop into my mind are?” Minseok shakes his head. “Home. Family.” “I know what you mean,” Minseok says. “This city will always be home to me, no matter what happens to us. These streets I grew up in and spent all my life exploring are precious to me, no matter how much they might have screwed me over. It’s where I met you, and Jongdae, and… Sehun and Jongin. They’re an integral part in my past; in my story; in what made me who I am today.” Minseok thinks for a moment. “I just believe… that sometimes, what makes you or breaks you is knowing when to let go of that past.” “What are you two beautiful souls talking about?” Jongdae enters the conversation, turning away from Lu Han, and Minseok and Baekhyun answer with ‘nothing’ way too quickly to be believable. “Well, Jongin was telling us he will be probably leaving tomorrow,” Jongdae continues, unbothered. Minseok and Baekhyun both turn to him at the same time. “Tomorrow?” Minseok asks, sounding as surprised as Baekhyun feels. “Yes,” Jongin nods. “This is an important period in the Rebellion’s history. With the Prince supposedly murdered, I think it’s as close to a revolution as we’ll ever get.” Lu Han frowns when he is mentioned, probably still bothered with everyone considering him dead. “I should go back, to offer my help. I won’t be able to go back to my position in the Palace, but I can be helpful somewhere else.” There’s a pause as everyone considers his words, thinking that these are some of their last moments together. They’ve already lost someone, and even if their goodbye with Jongin doesn’t have to be final, the thought that they will be losing one more friend, even if it isn’t permanent, leaves them all a bit lost. They’ve been through a lot in the span of a few days. Maybe it is time to rest, and fall into a normal routine again, Baekhyun thinks. “There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jongin says, looking afraid to voice out whatever thoughts are crossing his minds. “Lu Han,” he starts, and Lu Han startles, “would you come with me?” “What?” Lu Han asks, stupefied, voicing the question going through all their minds. “You hold some undeniable power,” Jongin explains. “This isn’t easy for me to ask of you, but please, consider this: the people all think you are dead, but if they learn that the King tried to keep his own son away from the crown, they will be out of their minds at his cruelty. This could actually be the spark we need to ignite the revolution this kingdom has been craving for.” Lu Han is torn. If Baekhyun were him, he would be, too. “I don’t know if I could ever…” he trails off, the end to his sentence remaining a mystery. “If you are truly the ruler this kingdom needs, which I have a feeling you are, you’ll know what to choose,” Jongin says, probably not realizing all the pressure he must be leaving on Lu Han’s shoulders. “You have time to make up your mind. I’ll be leaving tomorrow.” When Baekhyun looks at Lu Han, he looks lost deep in thought, and Baekhyun can imagine what his thoughts must be like. He’s always felt responsible for his kingdom, and he has always tried to imagine himself as a good king, yet, these past few days, he’s discovered another kind of life; one away from the confinements of a castle, and the shackles that is his status. Now that he is away, discovering what for him is the real world, how could he ever go back? How could he go back when he has people that care for him here? All these are questions Baekhyun wishes he had the answers for. He wishes he could help Lu Han the way Lu Han had helped him. Most of all, he wishes he could find it in him to be a little less selfish, and think of the kingdom instead of himself. * Later in the night, lying next to Lu Han on the floor, unable to sleep, he still hasn’t found the courage to speak to him. “Baek?” Lu Han asks quietly, because the others are already asleep. “Yes?” he whispers back. “Can we talk?” His voice sounds small and fragile, and Baekhyun is almost instantly certain that he wants to talk to him about the same situation. “Sure,” he replies, and they both get up, moving away from the sleeping bodies, to seek out a moment alone. “What is it?” “I’m perplexed,” Lu Han confesses, looking destabilized. “A few hours ago I was ready to leave this kingdom, even with a heavy heart, if I needed to, believing there was no way from me to stay here anymore.” He pauses, looks away. “I truly was willing to follow you everywhere, and begin a new chapter in my life, leaving behind all the pain Belland caused me. Yet, now…” he falters, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the slight moisture, “it feels like this weight of responsibility that comes with the crown is back to haunt me, and now that I have a way, a possibility to help this kingdom moving forward, I don’t know what to do.” Lu Han is waiting for an answer, and Baekhyun sighs, gathering the courage to tell him the words he knows are necessary, the words that would make Baekhyun proud of himself for managing to utter. “I don’t know what you should do,” Baekhyun starts carefully. “I don’t know whether the people would follow you and agree for you to be their ruler after leading a possible revolution. I don’t know whether such a revolution could even manage to throw off the King.” Looking into Lu Han’s eyes, he finds his strength. This is the right thing to do, he’s certain. “What I do know, however, is that you care deeply for this kingdom, that you would be just and fair; a doubtlessly strong enough ruler to manage Winterlake’s matters with the efficiency and compassion and humanity your father always lacked.” Baekhyun searches Lu Han’s eyes for that strong uncertainty, but it isn’t there anymore. He smiles sadly before continuing. “I know that getting the chance to rule was something you’ve wanted since you started getting interested in politics, and I also know that this promise of a crown you’ve been destined for matters to you. Am I wrong?” Lu Han shakes his head slowly, as if ashamed to be admitting it in front of him, and Baekhyun feels like the conversation is over. “I don’t want to be a coward, Baek,” Lu Han murmurs, and in some sense, Baekhyun is proud of him. “I don’t want to run away. Not when I have the power to help, when it’s been my dream to help, all along. I cannot leave this kingdom under my father’s merciless command with my conscience staying clear.” “You are no longer at the Palace, living under your father’s dictatorship, you know,” Baekhyun falters for a second. “This is the beauty of Shadowcrest: every choice you make is entirely yours. No second factors to consider; no one’s opinion to be imposed on you, here.” He takes a deep breath. “You’re finally free, Lu. You deserve to be the one making this decision, and no matter which it is, you don’t need to feel apologetic for it.” As someone who has spent all his life trying to live up to other people’s expectations instead of his own, Lu Han needs to realize that his choice lies with what would truly make him happy. Baekhyun recognizes that, and would never forgive himself if Lu Han were to choose to stay merely because of him. He doesn’t deserve it. “I believe I know what the man I fell for would choose. This man I would be proud of,” he says and presses a soft kiss on Lu Han’s lips. Their kiss is like a goodbye: bittersweet, laced with despair. It is hard to believe that mere hours ago, their kisses were filled with hope. “A wise man told me being strong, is knowing when to let go of the past,” Baekhyun whispers in Lu Han’s embrace later, and Lu Han’s hum doesn’t sound like he’s conscious. Baekhyun won’t allow his tears to fall. He has decided that he won’t shed a single tear for Lu Han; not when he knows they both did the right thing. He shouldn’t cry over snow melting, not when the rest of the world gets sunlight out of it. “Perhaps we are in that past already, Lu. Perhaps all we need is to let go.” * “This kind of feels like the old times, don’t you think?” Baekhyun says, as the three of them sit around the fire. He’s staring at the flames mindlessly, watching as the shadows dance around the walls, thinking about all the times they’d stayed like this before, trying to ease the cold away from their bodies. Once upon a time, there would be four boys, joking incessantly and playing around; laughing their days away, strengthening their bond by the hour. All that feels like a long time ago, now. They’ve been through so much since those times; it feels like everything is different: their lives, their personalities. It would have been impossible to come out of this unscathed and unchanged, Baekhyun supposes. “A few years ago we’d be all bundled up beside the fire,” Minseok comments, the light from the flames dancing in his starry eyes. “Baekhyun would be complaining about the weather non-stop, while Sehun would be freezing, not used to the cold so soon after leaving his comfortable home.” Jongdae smiles wistfully. “You’d probably be the only one not saying anything, not even minding the chilly weather in the slightest.” “And you, Jongdae,” says Baekhyun, “would probably be trying to steal our body heat by snuggling up to us all the fucking time. You were impossible, back then.” “You still are,” Minseok adds thoughtfully, and Jongdae slaps his shoulder playfully. “Where would you all even be without me?” he whines, plunging the room into a comfortable kind of silence, save for the cracking fire. Even after all these weeks, they still get those moments where Sehun’s absence between them becomes painful, his memory messing with them; making them feel nostalgic for the old times, making them miss him, most of all. Baekhyun occasionally still dreams of him; either in his final moments, or the happier times: when they would try to teach him how to not attract any attention when he walks down the streets, or how to manage theft. “How is the bargaining going, anyway?” Baekhyun says, wanting to escape the nostalgia that is catching up with them once more. “We will be able to leave soon,” Jongdae says, a delighted look on his face. “I think we could close a deal one of these days.” “Finally,” Minseok breathes, and Baekhyun can see how much they want to escape and leave the City behind. It makes sense; these past few weeks since Jongin and Lu Han left, their lives had been an endless cycle of the same actions, over and over again, a never-ending spiral. It seems like they lack purpose, and he knows leaving could heal that. However, with every day that passes, Baekhyun thinks his determination to leave Shadowcrest behind crumbles a bit. It isn’t deliberate: he would be walking down the roads only to notice a small building they’d crashed in in the past, or a bakery Jongdae and he had almost been caught stealing from once; and he would feel like this city was his. Like he wouldn’t exist without it. “We should go to the Devil’s Threshold together, tomorrow,” says Jongdae. “So we can take care of the final details, and listen to Feng’s instructions together.” It had been pure luck, how they got to meet Feng, the man who would be getting them out of Winterlake. They were already looking for a way to cross the borders away to Silvervale, when this man had approached them, saying that he did this often: sending carriages away with illegal passengers that wanted to leave the kingdom. It had been tough, because he had insisted that he only accepted gold, which could never be found in areas like Shadowcrest, but, in the end, they’d managed to convince him by telling him they could provide him with stolen goods. They’d been delivering all sorts of things to him, from food to weapons and riches. They’ve been busy, but that was alright with him. It stops him from thinking, most of the time. In a city full of memories it is hard to keep himself from reminiscing. Constantly having something to do changes that. He finds himself to be so focused on the job, on staying safe, and keeping Minseok and Jongdae safe as well, that he hardly has any time to waste during the day. It has kept him sane, all this while. The nights are a different story. It is impossible to escape reality in his dreams, where he often wakes up, shaken by violent dreams of Sehun’s death, by old events he’s struggled to push in the back of his mind all these years, by images of Lu Han. Lu Han… It is hard without him. He cannot shake this constant feeling that something is missing from his life. He misses their talks, and he misses his warm embrace during the cold nights. He misses kissing him, or knowing he’s beside him. Sometimes it can be suffocating, how much he finds himself missing Lu Han. Shouldn’t he be able to move on instead of continuing the self-destructive cycle of missing someone who is gone? Thankfully, through all of this, he still has Jongdae and Minseok. They are a constant in his life, and being with them after worrying so much about them while they were in prison, makes him feel very lucky. Even if they are changed, after their time in jail, their familiar presence, their jokes, it all helps him get through the day. * “I cannot believe we’re really leaving,” Jongdae exclaims, starry-eyed, walking with an unprecedented bounce in his steps. “And to Oldsilver! This is truly a dream come true.” He sighs, content. They are returning to their temporary home, after spending the night at the Devil’s Threshold, the ever busy tavern they used to frequent before the jail thing. They had finally convinced Feng to lend them one of his infamous carriages, which would allow them to move freely across the kingdom and its borders, to end up in Oldsilver, the beautiful capital of Silvervale. “Can you believe how talkative that man was, though?” Baekhyun complains. “If I had to hear about one more ‘interesting place’ he’d been to, I swear I would have flipped.” Feng was an old man, in his late 60s, who had apparently been across the world and back. He’d told them stories, countless of them; about the mesmerizing waters of Linshore, the dangerous black markets in the otherwise stunning Estergardens, or the dark and snowy mountains in Redfay. “I’m convinced all he meant to do was to spark our interest for all these otherworldly places, triggering our inner wanderlust, in order for us to seek out his services in the future,” Minseok says, massaging his temples, as if overrun by a terrible headache, probably due to the extreme commotion in the tavern. “Well then, he sure as hell succeeded,” Jongdae comments from ahead of them. “I would love to live a life like his. Imagine travelling to all these places!” Baekhyun and Minseok share a look. “Oh no, don’t start again,” Baekhyun says. “I think I’ve heard enough about travelling for today. And the next ten years, probably. And to think you constantly only urged him to tell us more!” His glare is accusatory. “It’s no wonder that you two got along so well these past few weeks,” Minseok observes. “If you have been satisfying his desire to hear himself talk about his experiences, it’s only to be expected he’d be lenient with us and let us take a carriage, even without gold. You must be the only person he’s ever met to be truly interested in what he was saying.” “And that should say a lot, considering the terrifying number of people he’s met,” Baekhyun adds. “You clearly do not appreciate all of the man’s knowledge,” he responds, snarky. “Sometimes I wonder why I still hang out with you.” “So, we pick up the carriage the day after tomorrow?” Baekhyun asks uneasily. “Yup,” says Jongdae chirpily. Baekhyun doesn’t know how to feel about that. To be honest, he expected that the process would drag out for a little longer, that he would get more time to come to terms with their departure, more time to say goodbye. He doesn’t know whether he’ll be ready in two days, whether he’ll ever be ready. Nonetheless, he makes a distracted acknowledging sound. “Baek?” Minseok asks softly. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “I’m good.” “You think you can fool your two best friends?” Jongdae asks incredulously. “Come on; obviously something has been wrong. Spill.” Baekhyun sighs, “I don’t know…” He tails off, uncertain. “It’s just… I’m not sure, about whether I really want to leave.” He looks at them guiltily. “I guess I should have said so sooner, but I just thought… that I would reconcile with the fact and be happy to leave, you know? I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Minseok and Jongdae have both stopped walking to look at him, and at first Baekhyun thinks they’re angry at him. But no, their gazes aren’t angry; they’re compassionate, and knowing. “You should have said so sooner,” Jongdae says quietly. “We wouldn’t have planned this so far. We would have thought about it more. We would have discussed it, and figured something out.” “I don’t want to ruin this for you, guys,” he says, frowning. “I don’t- I don’t even know why saying goodbye feels so impossible. I’ve spent all my life hating this city.” “No, you haven’t,” Minseok says, smiling. “You’ve complained about the injustice, perhaps, but you’ve never hated on the city itself; am I right?” Baekhyun opens his mouth to disagree, then closes it again. He doesn’t know if he’s being sincere with himself. “Is it bad that I want to stay?” he whispers. “Of course it’s not bad!” Jongdae exclaims. “We’d never expect you to follow us somewhere where you’d be unhappy. You know that. Besides, I think deep down we knew that you weren’t completely in with the idea of leaving.” Baekhyun ponders on what that could mean for them. Never in his life had he thought a day would come when they would get separated. He feels tears burning his eyes, and when he looks up, Jongdae has this fond but sad smile on his face that mirrors Minseok’s. “I’m glad you told us,” Minseok tells him. “And… even if we’re apart,” he swallows, and takes a second to look at both of them, “it doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends, or anything.” “‘Bonds like ours are eternal,’ right?” Jongdae says with an uncertain smile. “Little things could ever drive us apart, I think,” Sehun had said one day, walking down the street, with his arm around Jongdae’s shoulders. He had offered them one of his bright smiles, the kind that is still carved in Baekhyun’s memory. “Bonds like ours are eternal.” * On the day of Minseok and Jongdae’s departure, Baekhyun wakes up alone. His first instinctive thought is that he went back in time, and that he’s back to the lonely days spent trying to come up with a plan to break his three friends out of prison. Then, of course, logic kicks in, and he starts to panic. Jongdae never wakes up early, and he definitely never wakes up without making noise. He gets up faster than he ever has before, which results in him feeling like the entire world is spinning. After he has recovered from his dizziness, he proceeds to search the building. Their stuff is all there, which means they didn’t leave; at least not on their own accord. He’s starting to jump into paranoid scenarios when he hears a crash, followed by familiar laughter, all coming from the first floor. He climbs the flight of stairs grumpily, ready to yell at them for making him worry like that, wondering what they could even be doing up so early. When he opens the door of the room they’re in, his first thought is that this situation explains a lot. Jongdae is pressed against the wall, legs locked tightly around Minseok’s waist, pulling the older boy even closer against him, his hands tangled in his hair. They are both smiling into what seems like a rather intense kiss, Minseok’s hands intertwined under the other boy to hold him up. “Oh my God, this is so gross,” he groans, unimpressed, startling the couple and making Minseok nearly drop Jongdae to the floor. Jongdae uncomfortably raises his hand from where it was clutching on Minseok’s shirt to wave at him with a hesitant smile. “Please, by all means, continue,” Baekhyun says, backing away slowly, hands in the air. “I’ll just, you know, crawl inside a hole and die.” He shakes his head dramatically as he exits the room, careful to close the door behind him, not before hearing the couple inside burst into a fit of laughter once more. Indeed, this explained a lot, he thinks. How exceptionally close the two of them had been ever since they were reunited with Baekhyun; the way they seemed to depend on each other much more freely than before. Baekhyun wonders how he didn’t notice any sooner. They come to find him, a while later, embarrassed smiles having taken over their faces. “So, were you two lovebirds counting on telling me about this sudden romance blossoming between you?” he asks, rubbing his hands together menacingly. Apparently, they really were planning on telling him, on the day of their departure, because they weren’t sure how he would take it, which Baekhyun finds to be absolute nonsense. “This is fantastic news,” he replies with an ecstatic grin on his face. “Why would you even be worried about how I’d take it?” He pauses, feigning contemplation. “Although I do kind of pity you, Minseok. Being stuck with Jongdae is no easy fate.” “Hey, pay some respect to your friends who are leaving today, you asshole!” * “So, this is really goodbye?” Baekhyun asks, voice nearly cracking at the end. “It doesn’t have to be,” Minseok says, uncharacteristically emotional. “You think we would let such small and unimportant things as borders and laws deter us and keep us away from seeing you whenever we can?” “You make it so hard to say goodbye,” Baekhyun whines, ignoring the tears flooding his face. To his surprise, Minseok envelops him into a hug, burying his face into Baekhyun’s shoulder. “You’re not making it any easier either,” Minseok mumbles against his shirt. “Don’t feel lonely while we’re not around, alright? You’ve always been a self-sufficient person, and you sure as hell don’t need anyone to be happy. Yet… know it is alright to seek out company sometimes.” He pauses, and Baekhyun thinks he can feel his shirt getting wet. “It’s alright to miss the people no longer close to you, to have an off day every once in a while, to cry it all out when it gets overwhelming.” Baekhyun cannot imagine living without the rock that has always been Minseok in his life. “You’ll be alright without us, right?” “At this rate, you’ll run out of tears,” Jongdae calls out, before moving to disrupt their hug and claim Baekhyun’s arms for himself. “I’ll miss you so fucking much,” he murmurs, rocking them back and forth. “I’ll miss you, too, you idiot” he says, and lets an embarrassing hiccup escape his lips, making both of them laugh at their crying state. “We can always send each other letters,” Jongdae offers with a pathetic sniff. “I’ll draw all the places we visit for you.” “You suck at drawing!” Baekhyun laughs, trying to blink the blurriness away from his vision. “Well, at least I’ll manage to make you laugh,” Jongdae says. “Even from far away.” Saying goodbye is always hard. It seems like Baekhyun’s whole life has been a string of goodbyes put together, lately. The one he didn’t get to say to Sehun. The one he couldn’t have avoided with Lu Han. And now this: a painful goodbye, which feels a lot like ripping out a part of himself for his friends to take with them. “I can’t believe this is really it,” Baekhyun sighs, staring at the carriage behind them, where all of the two travellers’ supplies for their long trip are already packed, waiting for them to be done with their goodbyes. “Have a safe journey, alright? And write to me soon, with your impressions from Oldsilver.” Baekhyun is no fool; he knows that with the kingdom’s state as it is now, there is a high probability that he won’t be able to see them again, unless something changes drastically. They cannot talk about that, however: choosing optimistic, and borderline naive words to help them keep themselves together instead. They focus on the letters, something that should be able to work. “What are you going to do?” Minseok asks, the sunlight falling over his eyes, making them sparkle. Baekhyun shrugs; he hasn’t really thought about it. “Can I give you one last piece of advice?” Minseok asks him a second later. “Don’t let your chances at happiness slip away again. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Go after what you want, for once, and fight for it if you need to. Think about yourself every now and then. Okay?” * There is a strange mix of nervousness and anticipation as he knocks on the wooden door in front of him, some part inside him trying to fight the urge to run away. Go after what you want, are the words Baekhyun is repeating over and over in his head during the short yet nerve-wracking wait. “Coming!” a familiar voice sounds from inside, before the door snaps open. Baekhyun holds his breath, offering a smile at the frozen man standing in front of him trying not to gape. “Baekhyun?” His voice holds some sort of amazement in it, and Baekhyun feels hopeful. “Hey,” he greets, a radiant smile taking over his features. “Missed me?” Baekhyun watches with fascination as a disbelieving grin lights up Lu Han’s features, in that special way that screams Lu Han. Baekhyun stares, taking in every detail of the face he has been dreaming to see again. “What are you doing here?” Lu Han asks, and opens his door further until Baekhyun steps instead. Baekhyun looks into his eyes, and perhaps he is just seeing the things he wants to see, but Lu Han’s delighted expression seems like it mirrors his own. “Someone advised me to give myself a shot at happiness,” he swallows thickly, “and for some inexplicable reason, the first person that came to mind was you. I thought letting go of whatever this was between us would be dumb.” Lu Han has a stupid grin on his face, and Baekhyun feels his face heat up. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away,” the prince mocks, earning himself a light smack on the back of his head that still doesn’t manage to wipe the smug smile off his face. “But weren’t you supposed to leave the kingdom by now?” “I…” Baekhyun falters. How can he explain the connection he feels between him and the city? “I chose not to. I mean, I was going to, but then I realized how much I would miss this place if I left. I might not be its future ruler or anything, but the connection is still there, you know?” “Yeah, I know,” Lu Han nods, and approaches him to wrap his arms around Baekhyun. It’s funny how so much time passed, and yet they can be so comfortable with each other, as if it were just yesterday. “Was the goodbye difficult?” “Very,” Baekhyun admits against the fabric of Lu Han’s shirt, rejoicing in Lu Han’s warmth for a second before backing away to look into his eyes. God, how much he had missed him. Baekhyun is the one to close the distance between them, tilting his head and trying not to grin into the kiss. “I missed you so much,” Lu Han murmurs, breathless on Baekhyun’s lips, his hands coming to rest on his waist. Their tongues swirl in an intoxicatingly slow dance, and Baekhyun feels his knees weakening. “Missed you too, Lu,” he breathes, and he thinks he could stare into Lu Han’s eyes forever. “How have you been?” he asks, calming his ragged breathing. Lu Han shrugs, but the spark in his eyes is hard to miss. “I’ve been alright. I’m starting to meet more Rebellion officers and higher-ups. I think our desires are similar, so I doubt there’s going to be much of a problem with this partnership.” Baekhyun hears him patiently, as he describes his days, the loads of inspiring people he has met, how different the world seems from the other side of the castle walls. He listens attentively, but also focuses on the way his face lights up, the way his lips form the words, or how his voice hasn’t lost that soft, appealing tone. Lu Han is a renewed version of himself, Baekhyun figures. He seems to have found his place here, where he can share his opinions, and perhaps later have a chance to do what he has aspired to do since he was young. They end up lying down on Lu Han’s bed, which can barely fit two people, and they talk. They haven’t talked so much since that first interrogation Lu Han attempted back in the Onyx Cells, and, even then, it was more of a monologue than a conversation. Baekhyun tells him about Feng, imitating his way of retelling his experiences and making Lu Han laugh. He jokes about Minseok and Jongdae’s relationship, and how he discovered it. He tells him about how uncertain he has been feeling ever since his friends left, wondering whether he should come find him, and whether he would ever regret not going with them. “I’m glad you came to find me,” Lu Han whispers into his ear, pressing a kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead. “And I am not going to let you regret it.” “Oh, that is so sappy,” Baekhyun whines, but Lu Han only leans in to press an affectionate peck on his lips, effectively shutting him up. Lu Han talks to him as well. About how much he misses his old friends Yixing and Tao, and how hopeful he has been ever since Jongin told him there might be a way to see them again soon. He speaks about how on his first days in the Rebellion headquarters, faced with everyone’s hateful looks he would wonder whether he should have stayed with Baekhyun instead. He also confesses how much he stresses over having to win the people over, in order to lead the revolution. “I’m sure they will follow you when they get to know this compassionate and human side of you that they yearn for in a King,” Baekhyun murmurs sleepily before yawning. He wraps his arms around Lu Han to spoon him. He has just begun falling into slumber, when Lu Han rubs his neck awkwardly. “Baek?” Baekhyun only hums from somewhere mid-way to Orpheus’s embrace. “I don’t want to be the little spoon.” Baekhyun frowns and cracks one eye open. “What?” he whines. “Just go to sleep.” A second later, “But I am too manly to be the little spoon.” “Seriously?” Baekhyun sighs tiredly, closing his eyes again. “Baekhyun?” Lu Han’s persistent voice comes from beside him. “I truly cannot sleep like this.” He waits for a response, but Baekhyun ignores him stubbornly. “Baekhyun?” “Oh my God!” Baekhyun exclaims disbelievingly, turning around so Lu Han is the one hugging him and Lu Han sighs contently. “Thank you,” Lu Han says, pressing a kiss at the back of his nape. Neither of them can stop the grin from spreading across their faces, and, to be honest, neither of them want to. YOU'VE REACHED THE END OF THE FIC! Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to leave a comment but don't have a Dreamwidth account, fret not: anonymous commenting is on. If you want to comment on the LJ mirror, you may do so HERE. Thanks! ♥

Comments

[rotatingcookie.livejournal.com]

This is so good! It reads almost like a novel, actually? It's amazing <3

I really enjoyed how complex the characters were! Everybody's dynamics with each other were really different, and so it was interesting to see how they would interact with each other. My favorite dynamic was definitely the main pair, their dynamic really developed throughout the story and at the end they were just so ???? secure ???? and really supportive of whatever path they -individually- chose with each other?? It is so great??? I was so worried about the character death tag because I got really attached to both of them, haha.

Also, all the lore and backstory about the kingdom was so detailed and fascinating to read about (I have a soft spot for politics!!!). I really liked that one snippet where the kingdom's refusal to send aid to Westflower came back to haunt them and severely strain their relations with the other kingdom. The king's argument for not sending aid had a valid point but you can see what consequences it led to. (Like irl politics. It's so great.) Also the plot was also really great! There's an undercurrent of realism in everything which I really appreciated. The fact that everyone has their own goals and priorities that they /will/ put first above everyone else's was superb!! I also really liked the fact that not everyone stuck together at the end. It really made the ending more whole for me; it's a happy end (?) but it's not a "perfect happy" end. I'm just so happy about this asdfgh ;;

In short: it was really good x 5000

I'm sorry if this comment sounds so stiff, I'm not very good at making them ;; dear author, please take all my love <3

[sayamplus.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how much I fangirled over your comment when I first read it. I barely had the self-control not to immediately reply! XD

It's funny, actually, because everything you pointed out about the story were things I felt quite insecure about, like whether the characters were well-written or if they fit well together as a couple, so reading your thoughts really eased some of my worries, in a way. I'm also glad you liked the ending! I was contemplating how it would end for some time, striving for this feeling that while not everything is quite perfect, the characters end up finding some hope for their future, and it was good to see that you were satisfied with it.

And oh my god, the politics! It's probably the thing I thought most about while writing this. And there's just so much more I wish I could have written about the other kingdoms and the relationships between them, and more about Lu Han's parents as well. I don't know, it was really intriguing just trying to figure out how the story would work out within this new world, and I loved every aspect of crafting the details and diving into a universe I truly learnt to love during the time I was writing. Had I not left more than half the story to be written in the last three weeks before the deadline, perhaps I would have managed to put all these additional details and information I wanted to in the story :P Therefore I felt so happy when you said you liked this aspect of the fic! Truly, I am grateful :D

You truly made my day, both today and the 28th when I first saw your comment, and honestly, whenever I read your words I just cannot resist the urge to smile. You should be the one to accept all my love and appreciation :)

[(Anonymous)]

this was so good thank you so much for writing this!! this is one of my favourite long fics written and i love prince aus and i love baeklu and i love your writing i think this is so so good!! sequal? hahaha i'm seriously intrigued though i would love to see what happens in the future of the verse. baekhyun was written really well and his backstory tho everyone was written really well tbh do jongdae minseok and baekhyun ever see each other again dammit